The new year could be a good time for a lot of things, like accepting Jesus into our lives, or perhaps the appropriate end of civilization. Maybe we could start light with the public skewering of some worthy celebrity. Off the top of our heads, we can think of an easy 10 celebrities that could or should get roasted in 2018.
Be it a roastable movie role, unsexy sex scandal, bad religion, political faux pas or just being a weirdo we like to make fun of, there’s really nobody who is off limits in this fresh hell we’ve created for ourselves, not even you, Brad Pitt. Some are perfect candidates for their ability to let it roll off their flawless bone structure and down their back, but mostly we chose celebs who would just melt right the fuck down.
In a world of total entertainment, these celebrity roasts would prove most entertaining in 2018, and if not, we could always just go old school and have them fight to the death with spears and tigers.
We're suspicious of anyone who is their own biggest fan. Or talks in the third person.
Better yet, let's go straight to the source of our suffering. It could break the internet.
At this point, it's about all that could save her career after her missed money shot on Trump.
He's so weird, we wouldn't know what to say. Think about it.
Didn't we kind of already do this with the Oscars?
Because cool Brad Pitt can take it in stride with his cool Brad Pitt chuckle.
He knows he's a douche, let's do it!
So many homoerotic '90s references that are totally alright now that he's got a hot, successful wife.
If it leads to another couch-jumping meltdown...
Whoops, too late.