Photo: Marga Frontera (Getty)
Or in other words, he offered the dude a total package valued at $10,024.
According to Time, a 29-year-old Georgia man is in deep shit after authorities said he offered another man $10,000 and…wait for it…two tickets to an Atlanta Hawks game in exchange for murdering his ex-wife.
That’s right, kids. Michael McEarchern thought he could sweeten the deal by offering a hitman two tickets to watch the worst team in the NBA dick it up on the hardwood for 48 minutes. Even better? You guessed it – the douchebag tried setting up the deal while he was incarcerated at the Bartow County jail on unrelated drug charges.
The U.S. Attorney’s office in Atlanta said Monday in an email that a grand jury indicted 29-year-old Michael McEarchern of Acworth on Jan. 3.
The statement says McEarchern was in the Bartow County jail on drug charges when he reached out to several people in November to arrange the killing. One of them told a friend who notified the FBI.
Prosecutors say McEarchern believed he was setting up the killing when he contacted an FBI informant and agreed to pay $10,000 plus two tickets to an Atlanta Hawks game. To show he was serious, he had $800 in cash sent in advance.
Hahahaha. 800 bucks to show he was “serious.” Priceless.
If only this guy would have known that he could have killed his ex-boo just by simply giving her those tickets and telling her to go to the game, maybe things would have ended up differently. Seriously, the Hawks are so bad this season that people are physically getting sick just from watching them attempt to play the game of basketball:
watching the Hawks has not been easy this season pic.twitter.com/6A2TZ0kP9z
— Kenny Ducey (@KennyDucey) December 19, 2017
On another serious note, you really can get two tickets to this Friday’s Hawks game against the visiting Nets for just 12 bucks a pop. Or you could just stay home and do something more constructive with your time, like jamming a screwdriver up your peehole, for example.