Photo: MichaelSvoboda (Getty)
Hey gals, have you ever been eating some chips and thought to yourself, “Boy, I sure wish these chips were made just for me”? No? Well, regardless if you’ve never had that thought Doritos is still aiming to launch a “lady-friendly” version of their chips. Now what the hell is “lady friendly”? Well it’s apparently a quieter and less messy version of the popular chips. OK then…
Here’s what Indra Nooyi, PepsiCo’s CEO had to say:
“Although women would love to crunch crisps loudly, lick their fingers and pour crumbs from the bag into their mouth afterwards, they prefer not to do this in public.
You watch a lot of the young guys eat the chips, they love their Doritos, and they lick their fingers with great glee, and when they reach the bottom of the bag they pour the little broken pieces into their mouth, because they don’t want to lose that taste of the flavor, and the broken chips in the bottom.
Women would love to do the same, but they don’t. They don’t like to crunch too loudly in public. And they don’t lick their fingers.”
What the hell did I just read? And of course, ladies on Twitter weren’t having any of this:
2018, when even your chips will betray you and act like trash.
I WILL CRUNCH MY CHIPS AS LOUD AS I DAMN WELL PLEASE DORITO. NO LONGER WILL YOUR ORANGE DUST GRACE MY FINGERTIPS. https://t.co/VB1x2GvqFS
— Hanna Alkaf (@yesitshanna) February 5, 2018
Not just 2018. Let’s discuss pink BiC pens “for women.” *sigh*
— Phil (@kashicat) February 5, 2018
THANK GOD. My fellow feminists, we can end our fight. We have won.
— Chelsey Engel (@femmewithapen) February 5, 2018
How is this *not* from The Onion? HOW?
— 2,864,974 (@C0LBERTISMYHER0) February 5, 2018
what the fuck are you making chips that don’t crunch for?
i can’t feel my face
— Imani Gandy (@AngryBlackLady) February 5, 2018
Dorito are making ‘lady chips’ for women who don’t like to lick their fingers or make a loud crunch. There’s technology to make a quieter chip crunch. This calls for a massive ‘loud crunch and finger lick’ protest march to be heard throughout the world. #crunchloudly4equality
— Lonely ‘Judge Judy 4 President’ Wolf (@chestersdad07) February 5, 2018
Oh, and there’s more: these “low crunch” chips will even come in special packs specifically designed to fit into women’s handbags.
Man, they’ve thought of everything!
So, what do you all think of these “lady-friendly” chips?