Florida Man Arrested For Riding Gym Bike While Completely Nude

I just hope they wiped that bike down.

Bryan Brunatiby Bryan Brunati
Photo: GEOFFROY VAN DER HASSELT/AFP/Getty Images

And just when you think you’ve heard it all from Florida in comes 57-year-old Kerry Haynes, a tenant who decided that it would be a grand idea to work out in his apartment complex’s gym while completely naked. Spoiler: it wasn’t a grand idea.

Haynes was recently arrested and is facing an eviction after he was busted “utilizing every machine” in the community gym while super naked. And when we say super naked we mean the dude didn’t even have socks on. Once Haynes was spotted working out in the nude at the Andover Place Apartments in Orlando by a leasing agent, the leasing agent reached out to a maintenance man. The maintenance man then spotted Haynes using the gym’s stationary bicycle, while still naked.

“I’m working out.” Haynes said when asked by the maintenance work what he was doing.

Oh, but it doesn’t end there, folks, because this is Florida and this story gets stranger. Once Haynes was alerted that police were called, he left the gym and then was spotted by a landscaper “laying in the grass, and masturbating near the pond.” God damn it, Haynes, get it together!

Haynes was of course arrested and now has been charged with indecent exposure, disorderly conduct and exposure of sexual organs. And the only positive thing in all of this is that the man is at least trying to be fit. Right? Right.

h/t The Smoking Gun

We would prefer Kate Upton working out naked: A Picture Of Kate Upton Working Out Just Got Photoshopped The Hell Out Of