Eagles Fans Use Super Bowl Victory As An Excuse To Trash Sunoco Gas Station

What did that gas station ever do to you?

Tommy Gimlerby Tommy Gimler
Photo: Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

I guess devouring all of that figurative shit is better than eating the real thing.

According to NJ.com, police are asking for the public’s help in identifying a rather large group of tools and nerds who decided the best way to celebrate the Philadelphia Eagles taking down the mighty New England Patriots in Super Bowl 52 was by ransacking the Sunoco gas station near Broad and Catherine streets around 12:30 a.m. Monday morning.

“While inside the suspects began taking items from the shelves then began throwing food items and soft drinks on the floor and walls causing a hole in the back wall of the business,” police said.

Give it a watch and see if you can identify one or two of these shitdicks.

Good Christ. Just think, that’s what happened after the Eagles won the Super Bowl. I mean, odds are officials wouldn’t be as concerned about the hole in the back wall of the store because there wouldn’t even be a store left standing if Philly would have lost.

Shoutout to “Green Man” for making an appearance at the 1:15 mark before finally realizing that this was not the after party “Green Man” had envisioned after his beloved Eagles won their first Super Bowl in franchise history. I mean, free Kit-Kats and Runts are cool, but they’re not as cool as threesomes and cocaine.

One whopper of a fight: Epic Charlotte Burger King Brawl Features Chair Throwing And Pipes To The Face (NSFW Language)