For the record, when Cape Coral police found Christopher Bidzinski chowing down on some McDonald’s French Fries a few weeks ago, he wasn’t drunk. No sir. He was freaking hammered.
According to PIX 11, the 30-year-old Bidzinski had the “honor” of dealing with police two nights/mornings in a row in late January, but it was his second encounter with them that will likely put him behind bars for at least 30 days, and that’s if he’s lucky.
You see, kids, Bidzinski allegedly passed out after placing an order at a McDonald’s drive-thru in the wee hours of January 24. When police arrived on the scene, they found him behind the wheel of his truck in the parking lot going to town on some McDonald’s French Fries.
After realizing it was the 5-0 knocking on his window, even Bidzinski knew he was fucked. Not only did he tell police that he deserved to go to jail, but he also said he was “not going to fucking pass” a field sobriety test.
Well, at least he was right about that. Watch as he slurs his words, asks to eat more fries, bets police he can do a backflip, winds up trying a cartwheel and eventually gets cuffed and placed in the back of the squad car.
Police found a chilled, unopened bottle of wine in his truck and added that their entire squad car reeked of booze after Bidzinski fell asleep in the backseat on his way to jail. Talk about great times.