Zimbabwe Officials Are Complaining About Chinese Condoms Being Too Small

Bigger shipment please.

Tommy Gimlerby Tommy Gimler
Photo: LemonTreeImages (Getty)

I’ve heard women say that size doesn’t matter, but let’s be honest. The majority of them are either therapists or motivational speakers getting paid to say that.

According to the South China Morning Post, size really does matter when it comes to the dick domes Zimbabwe has been receiving from China. You see, kids, in this case, the stereotype is actually true in that those Chinese condoms are just too small for the big junk players of Zimbabwe.

From the SCMP:

Health Minister David Parirenyatwa made the comments at an event in the capital Harare last week to promote HIV/Aids prevention, according to the website New Zimbabwe.com. 

“The southern African region has the highest incidence of HIV and we are promoting the use of condoms,” Parirenyatwa was quoted as saying. 

“Youths now have a particular condom that they like, but we don’t manufacture them. We import condoms from China and some men complain they are too small.”

Based on “research” conducted two years ago, the average man in Zimbabwe is slinging a 6.1-inches below, while the average man in China is stuffing socks in his crotch because they’re only sporting 4.3 inches of man meat. Of course, pretty much the only country in the world that would consider a Chinese condom to be a Magnum would be North Korea, where the average man is just 3.8 inches at full mast.

And that explains a lot.

They probably won’t fit the guys in Venezuela either: Which Country Has the Biggest Dicks in the World?