"American Idol" will continue its descent into slow-death oblivion with the help of a cross-dressing geriatric rock star. Aerosmith lead singer Steven Tyler has reportedly been confirmed as a new judge on the talent competition.
On Wednesday, Aerosmith bassist Tom Hamilton told the New Jersey Star-Ledger, "Steven is doing `American Idol.' The ink is dry on that. So, we'll have to work around his schedule for a new record. I hope it doesn't hurt the new momentum we've built up on this tour, because that's been so important for us as a band. But I wouldn't want to be the one standing in the way of this for him."
Fox has been scrambling to come up with three new judges to replace the exiting show centerpiece Simon Cowell, Ellen "What The Hell Am I Doing Here In The First Place" Degeneres (who left the show after just one season) and Kara DioGuiardi, who is possibly the most undeserving and uninteresting human on non-reality television.
With the addition of Tyler, the network has a hope of seeing a slight bump in its inevitably descending ratings.
Hamilton believes the job's a perfect fit for Tyler. "Steven is someone who absolutely lives to be in front of an audience, and the people closest to him know how witty and entertaining he can be," He explained. "I don't know if `American Idol' will be rock 'n' roll enough for him, but it is an opportunity for millions of people to
see another side of Steven Tyler."
Given Tyler's history of drug abuse, recent erratic behavior and general geriatric tomfoolery onstage, Fox may be biting off more than even they can chew. And while an official announcement about Tyler has yet to come from Fox, we can expect one as soon as they figure out what the hell to do with the other two empty seats.
Yeah, we can stop talking about "American Idol" now.
