Since MTV opts for the culture-vulture sludge of reality programming these days instead of honoring the "M" in their name (it stands for music, in case you forgot), the only way to give their annual Video Music Awards any relevance is to ramp up the controversy. Some situations were contrived and pre-planned - such as Borat's suspiciously-placed crotch-first landing on Eminem's head at the 2008 VMAs - while others are simply perfect storms of cringe-inducing weirdness. Here's a look back at a few of the best (or worst, depending how you look at it) in VMAs history.
Diana Ross' Lil' Kim Titty-Twister (1999)
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The fact that people are still fretting over the whole Janet Jackson's Nipplegate scandal shows how selective our collective memories are. At the 1999 VMAs, Diana Ross rounded second base with Lil' Kim, whose left breast was exposed, shaved for a shimmering little pasty. The former Supremes singer reached over to Kim and, on national television, jiggled her boob like it was a bowl of Jell-O. Where was the upheaval over that?
Courtney Love Crashes Madonna's Interview (2000)
This little exchange took place outside the actual awards, but it deserves a spot if only for the sheer cattiness and backhanded compliments from both parties. The trouble began during Madonna's interview with MTV dinosaur Kurt Loder, who invited Courtney up (despite Madonna's pleas not to) after she threw the majority of her purse's contents up on the platform. Courtney was clearly trashed, and the two traded barbs under million-dollar grins the entire time. Madonna eventually abandons the interview entirely as Courtney flops around on the ground, collecting her makeup.
Madonna's Three-Way with Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera (2003)
During a medley of "Like a Virgin" and "Hollywood" at the 2003 VMAs, Skeletor's bride delighted and repulsed in even amounts by making out with both Britney and Christina onstage. Inappropriate Mouseketeer visions aside, it was an extra bonus to watch Spears' ex, Justin Timberlake, standing slack-jawed at the sight when the cameras panned to him for a reaction. And to think that at the time Christina was the skeezy one. Oh, the cruel twists of vapid-pop fate...
Andrew Dice Clay Gets Banned for Life (1989)
The shot-callers at MTV don't really have any idea what the hell they're doing, as evidenced by the fact that they trotted out foul-mouthed comic Andrew Dice Clay for a three-minute routine before introducing Cher at the 1998 VMAs. The chain-smoking funnyman did what he does best, which was deliver a spitfire series of super-vulgar nursery rhymes. (example: "Little Boy Blue! He needed the money!") The laughs were minimal, the MTV brass were mortified and the Diceman was banned from MTV for life.
Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley Kiss (1994)
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Nobody really believed that the Michael Jackson/Lisa Marie Presley marriage was real, and their 1994 VMAs appearance didn't do much to convince the world of its authenticity. The two appeared hand-in-hand onstage to kick off the show show, and after Jackson joked, "Just think, nobody thought this would last," he went in for a super-creepy kiss that was forever more burned into our minds. Presley appeared to have a hard time keeping her lunch down, which certainly didn't help their cause much. The marriage soon fizzled.
Britney's Comeback Fail (2007)
The 2008 VMAs were clearly stacked in favor of the nuclear train-wreck that was Britney Spears making a comeback - she won three awards, for what we're still not entirely sure, but the real travesty came when she got up onstage to do what she supposedly does best. Her much-hyped "comeback performance" was only memorable for its complete immersion in superfail. As she lip-synched her way through her "hit" single "Gimme More," Brit-Brit barely knew the dance moves, put zero effort into the performance and generally looked like a mess in an outfit far too small for her. Naturally, she was given a second - and third - and forty-fifth - chance at a comeback, and with the help of court-appointed caretakers, a psychiatric-care hospital visit and a whole lotta bad weaves, she climbed back up on the horse.
