Top 5 Billboard Albums
The Machine will eat, quality and substance be damned: Britney Spears' Circus makes a big splash on The Billboard 200 this week, hitting #1 with 505,000 copies moved. I don't care that it's her fifth #1. What I care about is that there are more than half a million people in this country who rushed out to buy the new Britney Spears record. Like I said back in September: We don't want you back for you, Britney. We've seen behind the curtain. We want you back so we can watch you fall again. We'll cheer you on, buy your record, put you on our magazine covers and gobble up your press junket appearances. But make no mistake - you are the ant, addicted to the magnifying glass that's burning you to death, and the rest of us are the morbidly obese, pimply-faced little brat holding it over you.
Moving on, Taylor Swift's Fearless stays put at No. 2 for a second week after moving 193,000 copies, while Beyonce's I Am ... Sasha Fierce climbs up to #3 with 153,000.
Last week's #1, Kanye West's 808s & Heartbreak, drops to #4 this week with 142,000. Nickelback makes their Dark Horse run, moving 133,000 units to bring them from #7 to #5 this week.
Billboard Hot 100 Update
T.I.'s "Live Your Life" plays musical chairs with Beyonce's "Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It,)" and if anybody's keeping score this is the sixth non-consecutive week at the top for the track. Meanwhile, the aforementioned Miss Britney's title track to her new album, "Circus," makes its debut at #3.
Lady Gaga steps up to #4 with "Just Dance," replacing T.I.'s "Whatever You Like," which has been in my head all goddamned week and needs to fall from the top 5 now.
The Lonely Island, the comedy team consisting of "Saturday Night Live" cast member and Digital Short wizard Andy Samberg, writer Jorma Taccone and writer/director Akiva Schaffer, has signed with Universal Republic to release their debut album, Incredibad, on Feb. 10.
The CD/DVD's first single, "Jizz in My Pants," was featured last week on "Saturday Night Live," and was just about the only funny thing on the show. The album will also include viral smash hits such as "Dick in a Box" with Justin Timberlake, "Iran So Far" with Maroon 5's Adam Levine and the now-immortal "Lazy Sunday" with fellow SNL'er Chris Parnell. You may only have recognized Andy Samberg from these skits, but he didn’t do it on his own - The Lonely Island are jointly responsible for them all. They've made some fantastic videos together, and are venturing into other mediums. Their first film, Hot Rod, sucked hot ass, but I wouldn’t rule these guys out just yet. If Seth Rogen can become king of the universe, there’s no reason these guys can’t dig out their own kick-ass little niche.
Also expected to appear on Incredibad are "I'm on a Boat" with T-Pain, "Sax Man" with Jack Black, "Boombox" with the Strokes' Julian Casablancas, "Dream Girl" with Norah Jones, "Santana DVX" with E-40 and guest-less songs like "Who Said We're Wack," "We Like Sportz" and "Punch You in the Jeans."
Perhaps as an early way to celebrate their upcoming 20th anniversary in 2011, Pearl Jam will unveil a massive, multi-option reissue of their debut album Ten next March. They've remastered it, remixed it and stuffed it full of goodies that even the most hardcore fan (hand up) can go apeshit over. Demos, live performances and even a cassette-tape replica of the original 3-song demo that San Diego-residing frontman Eddie Vedder recorded and sent to his future Seattle bandmates will be included. Four different editions of Ten will be released on March 24th, 2009, and will range from the double-disc Legendary Edition to the unbelievably packed Super Deluxe Version. The latter will feature 2 CDs, a previously unreleased DVD of their 1992 MTV Unplugged performance, 4 LPs and the aforementioned replica demo cassette. Plus, a remix of the album will be overseen by producer Brendan O’Brien, who worked with the band on four of their best albums, and is currently working with them on the next release, due sometime next year.
Pre-orders have already begun. Head to Pearljam.com for more details.
Tom Morello likes his Nightwatchman project way more than the rest of us. That's where his primary focus is going to be for the foreseeable future. Forget about a new album from Rage Against The Machine, who regrouped in 2007 after a seven-year break.
"There are no plans for that," Morello tells Billboard. "We've had a wonderful year and a half of playing shows, and I don't see any reason to not play more shows. The thing is there's only so many hours in the musical day, and mine are very occupied right now."
Nightwatchman is "my principal musical focus, as I see it, for the remainder of my life. From the earliest days of playing open mic nights at coffee houses, it was apparent to me that this music was as important to me as any music I've ever been involved in. It really encapsulates everything I want to do as an artist."
The second Nightwatchman album, "The Fabled City," incorporates full-band arrangements and electric guitar effects, enabling Morello to feel that "I'm able to do everything I want as a musician under this tent."
Yay?
Brit rockers Blur will reunite for an open-air show in London's Hyde Park next summer. The band dissolved after their last album, Think Tank.
The Hyde Park show will be on July 3 and will include Guitarist Graham Coxon, who quit the band for a solo career in 2002. Frontman Damon Albarn, drummer Dave Rowntree and bassist Alex James will be on hand as well. Coxon last performed with Blur in 2000 at London's Royal Festival Hall.
The band has released seven studio albums, five of them reaching No. 1 in the U.K, since forming 20 years ago.
Coldplay sucks. Most people agree with that sentiment, except for a select few million that enable Chris Martin's fetal alcohol syndrome mug to be plastered everywhere. According to Joe Satriani, they're also thieves, having allegedly lifted "substantial, original portions" of his 2004 track "If I Could Fly" for their smash nonsense hit, "Viva La Vida." He's evidently pretty pissed, being that he's suing them over it.
Coldplay, however, disagree with Joe. "If there are any similarities between our two pieces of music, they are entirely coincidental, and just as surprising to us as to him," the band said in a statement.
"Joe Satriani is a great musician, but he did not write the song 'Viva La Vida.' We respectfully ask him to accept our assurances of this and wish him well with all future endeavors."
This is 2008, right? Not 1988? Then somebody please explain to me why Bon Jovi's Lost Highway tour topped this year's list of the highest-grossing tours, based on data reported to Billboard Boxscore from Nov. 14, 2007, through Nov. 11, 2008. The tour, promoted in North America and Europe by AEG Live, grossed $210.6 million and drew 2,157,675 fans.
Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band's Magic tour, which grossed $204.5 million for the same period, was second on the list. Rounding out the top 10 are Madonna ($162 million for the Sticky & Sweet tour), the Police ($150 million on the second leg of their reunion tour), Celine Dion ($91 million), Kenny Chesney ($86 million), Neil Diamond ($81.2 million), Spice Girls ($70 million), Eagles ($56.6 million) and Rascal Flatts ($55.8 million).
Imagine a world where those were the only shows any of us could go to.
DMX is back in Jail. Surprise!
He's in Miami now, after being arrested by federal authorities for allegedly skipping out on a court appearance. The 37-year-old rapper was arrested Dec. 9 on a warrant issued by a Phoenix judge after failing to show in court last Friday. Blah blah blah, stay tuned for next week, when he's arrested again. And the following, when he's arrested for impersonating a police officer. And the next, when he's stealing an old lady's shoes on a crack binge.
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