.jpg) By Johnny Firecloud | With sales tanking and bands like Nine Inch Nails, the Raconteurs and Radiohead being heralded as pioneers of the New Music Revolution by offering their music in convenient, quick and cheap (or even free) formats, things are looking pretty bleak for the record industry. So whose fault is it that the music biz is dying a screeching, horrible death? YOURS! At least that's what Gene Simmons thinks. |
That's right! According costume-rock pimp of all trades Simmons, the man who has somehow taken Donald Trump's flavor of ruthless entrepreneurship to grimy new depths, the fans are responsible for the current state of the music industry. It has nothing to do with the industry's audacious refusal to fix their antiquated business model and distribution methods, or fully embrace the digital world. Nope. The consumers themselves are to blame.
In an interview with XM radio last weekend, Simmons said "In all seriousness - and it's unfortunate - but the record industry is dead; it's six feet under the ground and unfortunately, the fans have done this. They've decided to download and file share and there's no record industry around. We're gonna wait till everyone settles down and becomes civilized and as soon as the record industry pops its head then we'll record new material."
From Simmons' comments, it seems we're supposed to believe that the reason his band doesn't move units anymore has nothing to do with the fact that they've released about a dozen "greatest hits" packages in the last decade or so, all with nearly identical tracklists consisting of the same tired old-guy party-rock nonsense we've been sick of since the 80's. Newsflash, Gene: Nobody under 30 gives an ounce of a shit about you or your Halloween joke band. Or your reality show, or the warehouses full of ridiculous products that bear the Kiss logo. Anyone want a Kiss coffin?
In Gene's fascinating little world, ruthless internet pirates have singlehandedly crippled the industry. He's right in one regard: there are millions of people in the world today, particularly young people who have no qualms at all about downloading thousands of albums any way the can get them, most often illegally. That covers everyone from Miley-Cyrus-loving tweenieboppers to album junkies in every sense of the word to the kid in his bedroom who’s just heard Led Zeppelin for the first time. It's strictly a matter of access and convenience, and declaring war on that is the equivalent of standing chest-deep in the ocean and fighting the incoming tide. Just ask the RIAA.
In five short years, iTunes has become the #1 music retailer in the nation. We're supposed to believe that their success has nothing to do with the fact that they've made it easy and cut-rate cheap to legitimize the act of downloading music. With iTunes, instead of spending $18 on a product that you don’t really know if you want to commit to, you can sample each song, buy one track at a time, etc. It’s ideal and an absolute mandate for anyone like me who's old enough to remember being cheated out of our sacred heaps of nickels and dimes at Sam Goody as kids, buying albums on the strength of a single we'd heard on the radio, only to find out too late that what we'd heard was the only song on the album worth listening to. I think it's fair to say that the music biz built their empires throughout the 80's on that trick alone - look at the inexplicable surge and wild success of New Wave bands back (and MC Hammer) then. Is there any other explanation? I refuse to believe our parents' taste in music was simply that horrible. Maybe the cocaine was just really good in those days.
What you still don't seem to understand, Gene, is that if you provide a quality product, people will find it and support it. But unlike the mystical makeup heydays of yours, these days you have to deliver - or at least think of a way to bullshit people that nobody's thought of before. And while you're waiting for everybody to "settle down and become civilized," we're running circles around you, finding newer bands who rock better and party way harder than your ancient greasepaint-wearing ass ever did. We're downloading their music, going to their shows, buying their T-shirts and spreading the word. They're getting our money because we know they're not out to screw us for a quick buck, repackaging the same old crap time and time again.
The average listener's nose has evolved. We can detect the slightest scent of bullshit in the air, and we'll call you out quick. People finally have the power, and there isn't a chance in hell that well "settle down and become civilized."
But hell, maybe there's still some life in the old model yet - Lil Wayne's new album sold a million copies last week. His shit leaked everywhere, but people still went out and bought it. That's brand loyalty, big guy, something you should know more about than most. Too bad you seem to have missed the lesson about the need for actual substance.
Here's to ending your career in a stagnant wash of nightmarish failure, Mr. Simmons.
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