(9).jpg) By Johnny Firecloud | Picture this - You're sitting in front of your TV in the morning, flipping through the channels, when you come across what looks at first to be a ridiculous joke: a reunited New Kids On The Block singing on "The Today Show," surrounded by rain-soaked, screaming hordes of sloppy, overweight women rapidly approaching middle age. |
It's not some hideous metaphoric dream about the state of our culture; this actually happened last week, and included wrinkled, grey versions of all the members so psychotically adored a decade and a half ago - Jordan Knight, Joey McIntyre, Donnie Wahlberg, Jonathan Knight, and Danny Wood.
That's right, folks. The New Kids On The Block made plans to play their first show in 14 years next month in East Rutherford, NJ, accompanied by Disney robots Miley Cyrus and The Jonas Brothers. Not only that, but they've completed a new album and are planning a fall tour to support its release. Interscope Records will be releasing the new album, with veteran manager Irving Azoff (the Eagles, Christina Aguilera) steering the comeback ship.
When the New Kids On The Block first hit the scene, the reaction was unlike anything the disposable sugarpoppers of today could possibly fathom. They were the industry's biggest cash cow, even outselling Michael Jackson while people still cared about him. From lunch boxes to T-shirts to toothbrushes to a cartoon series to breakfast cereals, NKOTB were literally everywhere you looked (especially if you had a pre-teen sister at the time). Assembled in 1984 by producer Maurice Starr, and the early lineup included actor Mark Wahlberg, brother to New Kid "bad boy" Donne Wahlberg. Mark left, going on to become Marky Mark for an embarrassing moment or two in his underpants (we're still feeling the vibrations), while the rest of the group went on to become a worldwide smash sensation, selling over 70 million records.
The "Kids" have since grown up to become financial analysts, lawyers and guidance counselors, and seem by and large well-adjusted for having achieved such monumental fame at such an early age. So why the shameful attempt to reclaim the glory? "It was music that brought us back," Donnie said on "The Today Show." Right, the music. Almost forgot how gripping and poetic the lyrics to "Hangin' Tough" were... ("Just get on the floor and do the New Kids dance!").
"Long live the Block," Knight weakly chimed in near the end of the awkward, unintentionally sad interview.
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