Whether you’re surrounded by family who cling dearly to that long-extinct “traditional Christmas,” or you work retail and spend each grueling day bombarded by classic songs of yuletide cheer, Christmas music can suck the life out of you. Seriously, what do we really get out of holiday music? A dying snowman’s romp with the kids? A song about it being cold outside that just barely covers up date rape? Some old man or woman screaming to you that we need a little Christmas or announcing that the surrounding weather and store decorations indicate the Christmas season is upon us?
Alright, alright, we’re being a bit cynical. But the songs we’re forced to listen to each year either blend into holiday white noise or they become an endlessly jingling burden so thick in our heads that only copious amounts of alcohol will keep the season of giving from becoming the season of screaming. But fear not, dear friend – we’ve got the answer. In our never-ending crusade to be your musical Santa, we’ve found ten Christmas songs that slap all the ass off the traditional fare. So, if you’ll join us, allow us to introduce you to Ten Kick Ass Alternative Christmas Tunes.
That’s it. Phew! Now you can all head out to create a mixtape/playlist of Christmas jams that won’t make you hate the season. No need to thank us, we just got caught up in the spirit of giving.