CraveOnline

No actor is safe from Denzel Washington, but Ryan Reynolds emerges relatively intact.

Would it surprise anyone to learn that Denzel Washington carries Safe House with his usual dynamic performance? If you've seen any Denzel Washington-led movie, then you know what he can do. He's a world class actor who can elevate even some of the weakest scripts in Hollywood.

Safe House is far from perfect, but it's also pretty far from the worst film that Washington has been in. Safe House actually gives Washington one of his most fun characters in years in the form of Tobin Frost, a former CIA agent turned rogue operative who effortlessly deals death with a charming smile. Apparently in the world of Safe House, Tobin Frost is so famous in intelligence circles that even low level operatives in charge of secret CIA sanctuaries know who he is.

Enter Ryan Reynolds as Matt Weston, the lone agent in the CIA's South African safe house. When we meet Weston, he has no idea about the s***storm about to erupt with Frost's arrival. Because someone like Frost would not allow themselves to be captured unless he had a very good reason. And when that reason catches up to him, Frost and Weston have to flee for their lives.

Very early in the film, there's an action sequence in which Weston is driving a stolen vehicle to escape from the people trying to kill him while desperately fighting with Frost for control of the car. It's a very John Frankenheimer-like scene that appears as if it was shot with practical effects instead of CGI; which gives it an intense and exciting quality. This was also my favorite part of the movie.

Swedish director Daniel Espinosa makes his American debut with Safe House, and for the most part he does so with confidence and style. His action scenes are well staged and the dynamic between Frost and Weston is really engaging. Make no mistake, this isn't a buddy comedy and Frost constantly tries to undermine or elude his younger counterpart. Frost has clearly been playing this game a long time and he's very good at it. Frost also seems to enjoy pointing out to Weston how the agency will hang him out to dry.

Although Washington won the Oscar for playing Alonzo Harris in Training Day, that character always felt cartoonishly evil to me (especially in the last third of that film). Tobin Frost is actually a much more satisfying character to watch, in part because he isn't so over-the-top. And it seems that Frost may have been someone very much like Weston at the beginning of his intelligence career. He's just had the idealism drained from his soul after years spent in the trenches.

There's even a physical transformation in the film, as Frost sheds his excess hair and emerges looking younger and more clean cut like the more heroic roles that Washington played earlier in his career. But Washington's greatest moments in this movie almost always come in silence, as we see the wheels turning in his mind while figuring out what to do next or how he can best manipulate Weston into doing what he wants.

Against an actor like Washington, it's fair to say that almost anyone could be blown away onscreen. And from some of his previous films, I'd have guessed that Reynolds would have come off poorly by comparison to Washington. Instead, Reynolds holds his own and he is fairly restrained as Weston without being a jokey, sarcastic hero like several of his earlier roles. Reynolds and Washington actually have very good chemistry while playing off of each other. It also helps that Washington doesn't seem to be trying to upstage Reynolds or show him up.

The story of Safe House is fairly conventional, but it's still fun and the movie was pretty entertaining. I doubt that this is going to be the start of the next big action franchise, but I really would like to see Tobin Frost on the big screen again.
 

CraveOnline Rating: 7/10

Captain America, The best Commercial of the Super Bowl – It’s the American Winners!

America Shucks Yea! (darn you SOPA.) Below my friends are the best of the web today

Dailymotion  - Lego Captain America (link)

I love me some LEGO, I love stop motion, and Captain America (the movie) wasn’t that bad. So this is at least twice as good… or something.

Break  - Bud Light: Rescue Dog (link)

Break polled it’s viewers for their favorite Super Bowl commercial, and this was the winner.

Let me know below what your favorite Super Bowl Commercial was

I gotta say, aside from the tie in with the rescue dogs non –profit, (and is that Pimplywimp form youtube?) haven’t we seen the dog fetching a beer commercial at least every other super bowl?

College Humor – Jean-Ralphio Is The Amazing Spider-man (link)

I’ve been pimping Ben Schwartz for a long time, and I’m glad to see him getting his due. This Mash Up, is epic. And honestly I think I’d be more excited about this, then actual relaunch of SpiderMan with Lippy McGee.

UCB Comedy – Boycotted! (link)

Upright Citizen’s Brigade was, in my mind, inspirational to the new wave of comedy we see flourishing on the internet today. But for some reason the folks over at UCB comedy have decided to start featuring this awful series of short videos called ‘Jim-A-Day Calendar’ there’s one for each day, and the light is terrible, the writing’s not much better and I’m sick of it. So until they stop showing these I will continue to have this personal embargo (and this message) on the funny pages list, in my pants.

Funny Or Die – Jean Dujardin's Villain Auditions (link)

I have to say at first I was like :| but when he gets to ‘we bought a zoo too’ I was all :D

That’s what’s funny on the world of the web today.

Now put on your skin tight body suit and go fight some video crime!

Got a suggestion on a website I don’t hit? Leave a facebook comment below and I’ll check it out or send me a tweet to your video URL on twitter at @samproof  - tell me crave sent you.

Here’s some bonus valentine’s fun:

The funniest signs supporting gay marriage. Plus: Why does Reddit hate Woody?

Time to become a famous actor, decide to be interviewed by a major website for their series called “Ask Me Anything,” refuse to answer “anything,” get hated on by the site’s users, become an unfortunate meme and then check out these links!

Prop 8 Overturned: Funniest Signs Supporting Gay Marriage

http://www.funnyordie.com/slideshows/064fedfd57/prop-8-overturned-the-funniest-signs-supporting-gay-marriage

The overturning of Prop 8 was a victory for gay marriage advocates and a big loss for fans of upholding propositions.

Woody Harrelson’s Disastrous Reddit AMA

http://www.observer.com/2012/02/woody-harrelson-and-the-no-good-very-bad-reddit-ama/

So much bad karma.

14 Realities About Romantic Relationships In Chart Form

http://www.cracked.com/photoplasty_315_14-realities-romantic-relationships-in-chart-form/

A large section of the green slice: “apologizing for stuff.”

The Golden Age of Breakfast Cereal

http://hellogiggles.com/the-glory-days-of-breakfast-cereal

R.I.P. Marshmallow bits.

Pizza Hut Will Help You Propose Marriage

http://thedailywh.at/2012/02/09/rip-society-of-the-day-16/

Nothing says “I love you” like the gift… of a mediocre pizza.

That’s all for this edition of The Big List. Join us next week, because I can see into the future, and the future is full of list!

Geoffrey Golden is the Editor in Chief of The Devastator: The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans!

Woody Harrelson gives a powerful performance in a tale of Good Cop, Bad Cop... without the 'Good Cop' part.

The title refers to the Rampart Scandal of the late 1990s. The Rampart police division in Los Angeles was exposed as being one of the more corrupt police divisions in the city's history. Many of the officers involved, as part of an anti-gang unit called CRASH, were found to be making erroneous arrests and freely beating up, robbing, raping and sometimes murdering random people throughout the city. The fun part of the scandal was its alleged tie-ins to Death Row Records, and the allegations linking certain cops to the Biggie/Tupac rivalry/murders.

Curious that Oren Moverman, the director of The Messenger, should choose to make a drama about the Rampart scandal at this late date. Police corruption may be eternal, but aside from the scandal's vague lasting political legacy (some claim that L.A.'s current mayor Villaraigosa won his seat from his predecessor because of the scandal), I fail to see how a look at the Rampart scandal is relevant.

Luckily for us, Moverman has managed to make a stirring and stylish character study from the material. Woody Harrelson plays a decidedly corrupt cop named “Date Rape” David Brown whose moral emptiness reaches so deep, he doesn't seem to realize that he's doing anything wrong. He doesn't like his nickname, but, hey, he knows he's got it. How does one get the nickname of “Date Rape?” Luckily, it's not what you'd think. Brown killed a date rapist in cold blood a few years previous, claiming it was in the line of duty. We get the sense, over the course of the film, that Brown narrowly avoided jail time, and that the only thing keeping him on the job in a long-ingrained system of good-ol'-boy politicking and institutionalized cover-ups.

Brown is a horrible human being. He's not quite as melodramatically evil as, say the Bad Lieutenants, but he is a bully and a scoundrel. He is mean to women, and he uses racial slurs. He has two daughters, one a teenager (Brie Larson), both by a different sister. He lives with both sisters (Cynthia Nixon and Anne Heche), and doesn't seem to like anything about his home life. When he becomes mildly horny, he propositions both sisters. When that fails, he goes to a seedy bar. Later in the film, an investigator asks him about his racist tendencies. He seems to tell the truth: “I'm not racist. I hate all people equally.”

When Brown is caught on tape beating up a seemingly innocent man (echoes of Rodney King), an investigation on his behavior begins in earnest. He’s allowed to keep his job, but his peers begin to dismiss him; they will no longer put up with his crap. From there, we see Brown's life fall apart as all he had built up in a line of violence and impatience and outright vice begins to crumble. As his life falls apart, we see small pieces of remorse in his eyes. But not well-thought-out remorse. Brown is far too corrupt to really realize the damage he's done to the LAPD, to his peers, and to his family. Near the end of the film his teen daughter demands an apology. He looks up with puppy dog eyes and asks earnestly, “Did I hurt you?”

The screenplay for Rampart was co-written by the famed crime novelist James Ellroy, who has written some of the most acclaimed L.A. crime novels this side of Raymond Chandler. L.A. Confidential and The Black Dahlia are staples in any crime fiction library. As a screenwriter, however, he has fared less well, having written the confusing 2008 clunker Street Kings. Moverman co-wrote this, and I'm guessing that it was his idea to focus the story less on the actual corruption, and more on the frustratingly unchanging mind of a corrupt cop. Here, we get to see corruption from within. This is not a well-meaning man swept into a mob-like crime family run by crooked cops. This is an instinctively crooked man who bent the system.

No thrills, no secret plots, and no obvious politics, Rampart is a powerful and moving look into an empty person. By the end of the film, Brown finds himself staring into the abyss. Guess what stares back?
 

CraveOnline Rating: 8/10

The California girls are finally in the mix at CraveOnline!

Yes!!! After fauning over the beautiful ladies from Tempe12 and Tucson12, but knowing that in the end they were so far away, deliverance has finally come.

Introducing one of my new favorite sites, SanDiego12!!!  Enjoy our first San Diego State University girl, Amanda Matson.

Be sure to check out Amanda Matson's full gallery at SanDiego12!

Welterweight Nick Diaz tests positive for Marijuana at UFC 143.

By now, we’re used to a whirlwind news cycle in the MMA world, but this one is ridiculous.

Last weekend at UFC 143, Nick Diaz dropped a slim but unanimous decision to Carlos Condit in a bout for the company’s interim welterweight championship, ceding to Condit an opportunity to face Georges St. Pierre later this year in a lucrative and high profile title unification fight.  Diaz was so angered by it that he announced his retirement in the cage, but after a couple of days of his supporters crying foul about the outcome, a rematch seemed to be in the works.

Alas, that was yesterday. Today, news has trickled out that Diaz tested positive for marijuana during one of his mandatory drug screenings for the bout and with it any hope he may have had for a quick revenge on Condit went, ahem, up in smoke.

Exactly how long the rest of us will have to wait to find out if Diaz is really retired or just suspended remains to be seen.

The Nevada State Athletic Commission has yet to impose a penalty, though one of the things we know for sure at this point is that this isn’t Diaz’s first positive test -- he originally popped positive for weed after a fight in 2007. The result was that his stellar second round gogoplata victory over Takanori Gomi at Pride 33 – at the time the biggest win of Daiz’s career – was converted to a no contest, he was suspended for six months and fined for his trouble.

Given that this is his second positive test in Nevada, this time around the sanctions figure to be even stiffer.

It’s also unclear how Diaz’s employer will react to this. When the UFC invited him back into the fold last year after nearly a half decade absence, company president Dana White said Diaz would “have to play the game, at least a little bit” if he wanted to remain employed by the UFC. You have to assume this is not at all what White had in mind.

After already cutting Diaz a second chance when he no-showed a pair of prefight news conferences for a proposed bout with St. Pierre at UFC 137, the organization may well take this as conclusive proof that the Cesar Gracie Jiu Jitsu product will never learn to “play the game.” Then again, Diaz has positioned himself as one of the UFC’s most intriguing and marketable figures over the last eight months, so promotional brass will likely extend him a slightly longer rope than it would for a less popular, less talented guy.

Still, you have to wonder how much nonsense the company can put up with before it become too much for White to bear. How much of Diaz’s tomfoolery is worth it for the UFC? Clearly, it’s not becoming of one of the company’s top welterweight stars to miss extended periods of time for failing tests for “drugs of abuse.” Clearly, it’s not becoming of one of the best in the world to continue making the same mistakes again and again.

These are questions the UFC will have to ask itself regarding Diaz’s future.

Fortunately, looks like they’ll have at least a year to figure it out.

Don't try this at home...

The almighty 2 million dollar Bugatti Veyron is capable of an astonishing 253 mph, assuming one can find a racetrack fast enough to keep it together at that speed. So its pretty impressive/nuts that a former Bugatti test driver was able to uncork it up to 225 mph, but on a public road somewhere "south of the border."

As for the cops at the end? Supposedly they were simply stopping the car to look at it, after missing its high-speed run. Sounds true, as it's doubtful the driver wouldn't immediately be put in handcuffs after going 160 mph over the speed limit. Check out the video below-

Harley Quinn leads the Squad on a goose chase through Gotham while she deals with her Dead Joker angst.

So, predictably, I took a big steaming dump on Suicide Squad #1 when it came out, because I had a lot of anger about the loss of my favorite book, Secret Six, and I hate stacheless Deadshot, skinny Amanda Waller and Tim Burton Hooker-Lookin' Harley Quinn, and I wasn't thrilled with Hammerhead King Shark, either.  The only real attention I've paid it since was the whole 'clown car vagina' mess, which further cemented my opinion that writer Adam Glass was trying way too hard to be edgy and cool.  Seriously, why does Floyd Lawton look like some constipated cross between Matt Frewer and Ed O'Neill there?

But, in the interest of fairness, I thought I'd risk another go around with Suicide Squad #6, to see if it's settled into anything better yet after the LOOK WE ARE COOL JUST BELIEVE IT PLEASE debut need to be shocking wore off.  It's the start of a big arc where Harley Quinn is on the run from the rest of the Squad because she's flipping out over discovering that everyone thinks the Joker is dead, thanks to his peeled-off face being found in Detective Comics #1.  We get flashbacks to how her relationship with the Joker began, while the rest of the team bickers and deals with crazy transvestite Harley groupies out to kill them.  Dudes in girl clothes.  Yuk yuk yuk.

First off, I still hate what I hate about this series.  I hate Deadshot's overly-busy chest-pouchy cyborg look, nor do I like him as giving enough of a shit about anything to actually operate as a field leader, I hate Harley's outfit, I hate that King Shark doesn't look like King Shark anymore so soon after I fell in love with the character in Secret Six, and I hate Halle Berry Waller.  Really, the cognitive dissonance about Waller is the absolute worst part of this.  THIS IS NOT THE WALL, GODDAMMIT BITCHY BITCH BITCH WHINE COMPLAIN.  Just when you're thinking you can forgive some things, she shows up and reminds you that you were right not to forgive.

I also hate the "Twitter Twins" Lime and Light, who showed up in Green Arrow and are now on the Squad, but I get the impression I don't have to like them because they're going to be grist for the 'we keep killin' our cast members!' mill that is apparently a selling point of this series.  But anyone who says internet abbreviations like OMG out loud is instantly on my shit list.  The larger point being that if you're reading a book that's supposed to have black comedy in it, but you don't think it's amusing, you're just never going to like it.  It boils down to Glass' sense of humor not jiving with mine, which is an unbridgeable gulf for anybody.  I have the same problem with Brian Michael Bendis and Matt Fraction.  Some people think they're funny.  I just don't. 

It's like the words Glass puts in the Joker's mouth.  "Make 'em laugh, and you have a piece of them.  If you have a piece of them, you have power over them, and then you can bend them to your will."  Even he realizes the importance of humor, and thus, it seems like Glass would understand that if I don't grok his yuks, he's not going to have the power to make me look past the other stuff I dislike about his project.  It happens.  It's subjective.

What I like, however, is some of the art from Clayton Henry, specifically when we're getting into Harley's head as she's going through Arkham Asylum and one of her old hideouts with the Joker, remembering their interrogation-room courtship.  I've been burned out on the Joker as a character for a while, so it's somewhat interesting that Glass is implying that there's some kind of humanity to the Joker beyond the force of nature he's generally depicted as.  Harley says there's a 'downtime,' behind closed doors version of him who is "the real Mister J, not the clown he wants the world to see, but the man I fell crazy in love with."   Thus, there are a few panels here where Henry just really hits the mark perfectly on showing us how sad and broken Harley is right now in dealing with her loss, creating some really emotional moments which are all the more important because they're ensconced in a series about casual murder and general assholery.

Overall, still not a book I'm interested in reading, but not quite the crapfest I expected this book to be for as long as it lasted.  It's okay.  It's just not for me.

CRAVE ONLINE RATING:  6/10

Here's some more shots of superheroes fighting each other and - wait, what does Mar-Vell have to do with this?

Well, we know the Phoenix is coming to Earth, and the likely target is Hope Summers (although if you ask me, she's a big red-haired herring), and that would seem to be confirmed by some of the new covers Marvel has released for Avengers vs. X-Men and the surrounding tie-in issues.

But, for some reason, Secret Avengers #27 is sporting Captain Marvel.  Is the Phoenix gonna bring Mar-Vell back to life?  And who's that Kree Soldier dude?  Dare we hope to get Genis back, too?

Here's a look at a bunch of covers you'll see during the Avengers vs. X-Men saga.

Get a glimpse of the new and returning characters from HBO's hit fantasy series!

"The cold winds are rising."

On April 1, "Game of Thrones" season 2 will return to HBO after several months of anticipation from the series' growing fan base.

Based upon George R. R. Martin's "A Song of Ice and Fire" novel series, "Game of Thrones" will primary follow the events depicted in the second book, "A Clash of Kings." And with the second season just under two months away, HBO has released 17 new photos from the upcoming episodes which provide us a look at our returning favorites and some of the intriguing new members of the cast.

Starting off with the main leaders of the War of Five Kings, we have Robb Stark (Richard Madden), the new King of the North.

Next we have, King Joffrey Baratheon (Jack Gleeson), everyone's favorite villain to hate.

Stannis Baratheon (Stephen Dillane) and his adviser, Mellisandre (Carice van Houten) appear in the third photo. Stannis was the eldest brother of the late King Robert Baratheon, and he may have the strongest claim for the Iron Throne.

But that doesn't stop the ambitions of Stannis' younger brother, Renly Baratheon (Gethin Anthony); who wants the Iron Throne for himself.

Balon Greyjoy (Patrick Malahide) is sometimes overlooked as the fifth king in this conflict. But that would be a very deadly mistake.

Balon's son, Theon Greyjoy (Alfie Allen) is conflicted by his loyalties to his father and to the house of Stark; whose interests may no longer align with his own.

Arya Stark (Maisie Williams) has her own destiny to fulfill, as the only one of Ned Stark's daughters to escape from King Joffrey.

Her sister, Sansa Stark (Sophie Turner) is less lucky, as King Joffrey seems willing to use her life as leverage against her brother, Robb.

Back in Winterfell, Bran Stark ( Issac Hempstead-Wright) and Hodor (Kristian Nairn) may find that the horrors of war could be closer than they suspect.

Beyond the Wall, Jon Snow (Kit Harington) and the rest of the Night's Watch search for answers about an ancient enemy that may threaten the entire seven kingdoms.

Following the death of her husband, Catelyn Stark (Michelle Fairley) will be looking for revenge from someone she used to trust.

As noted by her brother, Queen Cersei Lannister (Lena Headey) may find it difficult to rule the kingdoms when millions of people hate her.

Tyrion Lannister (Peter Dinklage) is the new Hand of the King. But he may not enjoy dealing with his unstable nephew Joffrey, who doesn't seem to know how to rule with any finesse.

Davos Seaworth (Liam Cunningham) is one of Stannis Baratheon's most loyal knights, despite his growing misgivings about Stannis' actions...

Brienne of Tarth (Gwendoline Christie) is a fierce warrior in the service of Renly Baratheon. She also seems to be infatuated with Renly, which can only lead to heartbreak.

 
In the East, Daenerys Targaryen (Emilia Clarke) continues her rise to power despite some struggles ahead.

And finally, Daenerys during a more vulnerable moment.

Don't miss "Game of Thrones" season 2 on HBO, coming Sunday April 1st!