By Jeremy Azevedo

No matter how many unsolicited CDs I get in my mailbox every month, I try to at least give each and every one of them a fair shot at a review, no matter how much it may pain me to listen to some of them.

In the interest of saving myself a hell of a lot of work, I've condensed all of the reviews for the aforementioned albums to 20 words or less. Not only does this make my job easier, but it also makes the reviews more fun to read.

Oasis: Dig Out Your Soul

Remember when that dude jumped up on stage and punched Noel Gallagher right in the face? He totally deserved it.

Ying Yang Twins: The Official Work

	Are these dudes retarded or something? They make 2 Live Crew look like KRS One, I shit you not.

Hollywood Undead: Swan Song

	Like Linkin Park in “scene gear” and hockey masks. More of a brilliantly marketed product than an actual band.

The Answer: Never Too Late

	This band not only looks like, but also sounds like “Stillwater”, the fictional band in “Almost Famous”. Which is rad.

Metallica: Death Magnetic

	Sounds less like “Reload” and more like “And Justice For All”. As metal as four old-ass dudes can get.

Termanology: Politics as Usual

	This dude has got production by DJ Premiere, Hi Tek, Alchemist, Nottz and Pete Rock on his album. Holy crap!

Pitbull: Krazy feat. Lil Jon (Single)

	A generic Mexico Spring Break backing track over which Lil Jon yells “yeah!” and “uggghhhh!” Wait, is this from 2001?

Rise Against: Appeal to Reason

	Melodic punk about bitches and money. Just kidding, it’s about animal rights, war protesting and other hippie stuff.