Smashed by a boulder while Erik Norris held the gaming conch shell.Awkward, self-written biographies are the worst. That's why I've decided to hire a private investigator to follow me around for a day in order to tell you exactly who I am. I'm broke, so this dick could only do his gumshoeing for a few hours in the morning. Sorry if you wanted more.
His notes!
8:00 AM: Alarm goes off, suspect presses "snooze."
8:10 AM: Alarm goes off, suspect presses "snooze."
8:20 AM: Alarm goes off, suspect presses "snooze."
8:30 AM: Alarm goes off, suspect presses "snooze."
8:40 AM: Alarm goes off, suspect presses "snooze."
8:50 AM: Alarm goes off, suspect presses "snooze."
9:00 AM: Suspect gets up, eats a single raw egg, shell on, does 500 push-ups, showers and gets dressed.
9:01 AM: Suspect sits down at computer and begins typing.
10:08 AM: Suspect plays game called "Minecraft;" doesn't move for 2 hours.
12:15 PM: Tail stopped, suspect out of money.
I love video games. Read my words.
Twitter: @JoeyDavidson.
