‘Clash of the Titans 2’ Plot Details Unleashed!

An awful film gets an awfully big sequel.

William Bibbianiby William Bibbiani

'Clash of the Titans 2' Plot Details Unleashed!

Oh man, do you smell that? Geez, Clash of the Titans came out a year ago and it’s still stinking up the joint. Or maybe this is a fresh stench from the production of Clash of the Titans 2, which just started production in England with Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes and Rosamund Pike replacing Alexa Davalos as Andromeda. Eh… Both are plausible. You know what else is plausible? The Clash of the Titans 2 might actually be pretty good. We’re not trying to be jerks about this. Dark Horizons hit the internet with the scoop on the sequel’s plotline, which like the original film appears to use Greek mythology as more of a sparring partner than an actual inspiration.

Years after Zeus conspired to doom the Gods to death by starvation in order to make his illegitimate son feel a little better, the Gods are dying of starvation. Well, at least it’s consistent. With mankind’s faith in the Gods dwindling (the Gods feed on mankind’s prayers, which must make for some interesting dinner parties: "Mmm… This ‘Please, My Mother Has Cancer’ is good! Could you pass the ‘I’ll do anything if I can just get into the head cheerleader’s pants?’"), Hades (Ralph Fiennes) and Ares, the god of war (Edgar Ramirez), conspire with with Kronos – leader of the Titans and Zeus’s father – to take over Olympus. Perseus is called back to action after years of living quietly as a fisherman and a single father to his son. Huh… Remember when Zeus resurrected Perseus’ girlfriend as a gift? Guess that didn’t work out too well. Maybe he should have got him a gift certificate to Bed Bath & Beyond instead. Head on over to Dark Horizons for more details.

We like that we’re actually going to see some damned Titans in Clash of the Titans 2, which may or may not be called Wrath of the Titans (which makes more sense since, like the original, it would appear that the Titans aren’t actually going to beat each other up or anything). In fact, all we ask is that this next movie makes one teensy-tiny iota of sense. We never thought that would seem like too much to ask, but man, just when you thought Hollywood couldn’t think any less of us, they came out with a damned Clash of the Titans. Come to think of it, The Last Airbender was also a vote of ‘No Confidence’ in our respective I.Q.’s last year as well. At least that sequel isn’t in production yet…

Clash of the Titans 2 is directed by Jonathan Liebesman (Battle: Los Angeles) and is expected to hit theaters on March 30th, 2012.

Crave Online will return with more Titans news, even if it clashes with our ensemble.