New ‘Scream 4’ Stills Still Coming

'Scream 4' continues to slice its way through the internet with a new set of stills that tell us... Um, what DO these stills tell us?

William Bibbianiby William Bibbiani

New 'Scream 4' Stills Still Coming

Scream 4 is still coming to theaters on April 15th, 2011. It still promises to revitalize a classic horror franchise. And it’s still pounding us with stills. The latest crop reveals…

Um…

Huh, it’s mostly people talking in rooms. Well, no problem. We can easily extrapolate what’s going on in these images using the awesome power of imagination!

Gail Weathers Riley (Courtney Cox) reveals her plan to thwart Ghostface: stand in a circle facing each other. It’s deceptively simple. By turning your backs to the killer, you will lure him (or her) into a false sense of security. They will approach you with their stabbing implements, thinking that you won’t be able to seem them, only to be spied by the person in front of you, who will then say something like, "There he is!" Your life = Saved. You’re welcome.

We’re actually fascinated by the location of this scene, which appears to be that relic of the 1990’s: the video store. Most fascinating is the poster for the 12-year-old movie The Green Mile posted prominently in the front window, facing inside the store, and therefore diminishing the effectiveness of its advertising. We’re guessing it’s not a very good video store, and will probably close soon.

In this shot, a character is talking on the phone and looks visibly upset. We’d be upset too, if our phone had a creepy blue TRON glow creeping into our ears. Maybe she’s talking to David Warner. That’s it. Scream 4 is probably a crossover with TRON, and she’s talking to David Warner. We’re so smart.

In this obvious reference to the first Scream, these movie geeks are completely unaware that the killer is right behind them, 30 feet tall, and translucent. Just like in the first Scream.

In this shot, something just happened off-screen. Probably something really scary, like Kristen Bell getting disemboweled or a surprise cameo appearance by Snookie. Also, apparently it happened everywhere, since our two heroines are looking in different directions to locate it.

In all seriousness, Crave Online is eagerly awaiting Scream 4. It looks like a clever send up of new horror genres and cliches, and promises to be another exciting entry in a classic series. Will it fulfill that promise? We’ll find out on April 15th.

Crave Online will be back with more Scream 4 news as it talks in rooms.