This Week In Tweets – 4.29

We filter through their inane jabbering so you don’t have to.

Paul Tamburroby Paul Tamburro

Not true. I went to a party last week and ate a hash brownie, and I swear those dam po-po’s are onto me. What if they tell Mother and Father? They’ll never let me go to Prom. Honestly, you black people think you’ve got it soooo bad…

 

We would rather not.

 

P. Diddy-Dum-Dum there, turning 75% of Twitter into Atheists with one tweet.

 

Unless of course it is the music of DJ Pauly D, in which case you play it with your stereo turned off and unplugged from the wall. Honestly, it sounds much better that way.

 

I had a near-death experience once. I was watching an episode of Pimp My Ride, and experienced so many needlessly bejewelled hubcaps and garishly decorated station wagons that I developed epilepsy. After undergoing two years of treatment for the condition, the only compensation MTV could offer me was a part in a documentary concerning me and my heroic battle against the illness entitled ‘Pimp My Eyes’.

 

Just when you thought any good memories you had of the Empire were destroyed after the prequels, a little something like this comes along. ♥

 

Ke$ha there, continuing her paradoxical existence of making every young female in America feel as though they are only useful if they make for good masturbation material, whilst simultaneously being absolutely fucking hideous to look at.

 

Something tells me that this acronym might have the adverse reaction to what you might be hoping for, Mr Kingston.

 

I just watched my neighbour walk out of his house in his Y-Fronts, pick up his mail, fumble around with his ball sack and then head back inside. Clearly me and Sharon are both living the high life.