Review: Fear Itself #3

Bucky Barnes makes a bold last stand against the Nazi hordes attacking the U.S. capital.  And Iann Robinson sings along to "Tom's Diner."

Iann Robinsonby Iann Robinson

Fear Itself 3

Editor's Note:  In lieu of another diatribe against Marvel's summer event, Crave's own Iann Robinson has elected to offer his thoughts on Fear Itself #3 in the form of a song parody.  So enjoy the music of "Tom's Diner" by Suzanne Vega (the DNA remix or the original a capella version) when reading the review below. Doot doot doo doo, doot do doo doo, doot doot doo doo doot do doo doo.

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Sin is sitting on her rocket

With a Swastika upon it

Cap America and Falcon

and Black Widow are approaching

Then, Sin leaps out at Captain

And, hits him with her hammer

Then the story jumps to Asgard

Where Loki busts Thor out of jail

 

Meanwhile Hulk has got a hammer

And he’s acting like an asshole

Then the Thing gets his own hammer

Now he’s evil and he’s pissed off

Then Thor steps up to Odin

And gets banished back to Earth

Steve Rogers gets a gut full of all of this

And decides to join the fight

 

Back with Captain, the Bucky version

Sin is waiting for surrender

But the Avengers they Assemble

Captain leads them on the onslaught

So Sin hits him with her hammer

And busts a big hole in his chest

At the end of Fear Itself 3

It looks like Bucky might be dead

 

See the problem with this whole thing

Is it's Sinestro Corps with hammers

And Matt Fraction has decided

Continuity ain’t important

So the whole thing it rings hollow

And I have to start and wonder

is this series seven issues to get Steve Rogers back as Cap? 

 

But the art here, it is killer

Stuart Immonen does some great work

It’s so far the only saving graaaaace…

 

Of an event series without a point