Domain Names You Must Purchase. Now.

Here are a bunch of good ideas then can never ever .fail

Sax Carrby Sax Carr

A few days ago news came out that possibilities for domain names will be expanded by ICANN (The Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers) sometime next year. While the regular .com, .gov, etc won't be effected; this opens Pandora's box open for branding opportunities and vanity projects (sam.samweller). And though it'll cost you a whole bunch of money to do so yearly (in the $180K range) search engines and individuals alike are already brimming with questions and confusion because the internet makes people crazy.

 

Damn You INTERNET PIPES!!!

 

At the end of this article I'll include links if you actually want to read about this issue. But why do that when I've diluted this down to it's core question: how can I exploit this?

Having a unique domain name for yourself or your business can boost revenue or exposure, and squatting on the right one could net you a lot of cash. Consider me your internet liaison. I have a very clear understanding of money due to my experience working for free as an actor. The World Wild West is back open for business and I've decided on some clear choices for domain names and some associated sites to get you rolling.

Now we don't all have $180K just lying around, but I'm sure after reading some of my suggestions you'll be begging family and friend alike for all their hard earned cash. Let's go!

 

.gooble

Just take a poorly worded version of a popular I.P. (Intellectual Property) and presto! You are the ersatz Mike Zuckerwhoever! Make sure you study up on Fair Use law, however, or you'll be spending a lot of time thinking up new ideas behind bars. Which come to think of it is not a bad angle. It worked for a lot of rappers. Did you know Lil' Wayne cut a whole album behind bars? That's sick. I got to get in touch with his producers.

Other Examples: .yahool, .1phone, .xxxx (trust me that mistake will happen) .qpple, .mcrsft, .www (just to screw with em)

 

.1337

Leet speak will hopefully be relevant again in a few years. But when it is, get ready to catch the windfall baby! I'll be .lol'ing all over the place!

 

.yoyo

Speculators agree that this once-maligned sport is due for a comeback. If spinning tops can have their "Beyblade 4D" (I don't know either, Google it) then YoYo's should also have their obscure 120 episode anime. Here, I've included some concept art:

 

 

.offinthewoods

It's locational and seemingly inoffensive. Until you realize that you can finally own the website beat.offinthewoods. It's primary use should be for nature enthusiast blogs.

Other Examples: ham.offinthewoods, bugger.offinthewoods, turkeygobbling.offinthewoods, overtheriverand.offinthewoods

 

.thatswhatshesaid

This could either be web sites that deal in bad jokes or oral histories of important women. I'd love to share my oral history. OHHH.thatswhatshesaid!

Related Offshoots: .yourmom, .inbed, .nohomo

 

.money

This instantly increases your small business' credibility in the marketplace. Even the most ridiculous ideas sound plausible with this baby.

Other Examples: yarnforless.money, magazineholders.money, snakeoil.money, fixedgambling.money, kickababy.money

 

.(name of country or city)

The ultimate domain for squatting. I usually would shy away from this type of purchasing because it is soo obnoxious. It has been eons since samweller.com was taken. But don't you want to see stroke-inducing web site names like Goldengatebridge.chicago, Phillycheesesteak.africa, or Houston.Dallas? It's like living in a fantastic dreamworld where everything exists at once! Wait, that's what the internet is? Oh, okay.

 

.planking

Have you seen this stupid meme?

You kids need to grow up. Now.

 

.con

How many seconds until you realized?

 

Further Reading:  (Never say my articles aren't educational!)

New Domain Rules 

New Internet Rules will be a mess

New Internet Rules

 

And because I don't own em yet:

Banner image from Joi Ito via Flickr.

Goku(TM) is copyright by Akira Toriyama, Toei Animation, Ltd. and liscensed by FUNimation Productions, Ltd.