The Art of Genital Photography

There's no reason genital photography can’t be as beautiful as well, pictures without balls.

Christian Krauspeby Christian Krauspe

People have cell phones. Most of those cell phones have cameras. And quite a few of those people use their mobile devices to capture photos of their junk. With sexual self-expression what it is today, a healthy portion of those pics may end up in a significant other’s inbox, attached to an online personal ad, or, if you’re a politician or person-of-power; CNN, MSNBC, FOX, C-SPAN and/or The Weather Channel.


But it really doesn’t have to be like this.


Let’s, for the sake of argument, assume that if you’re taking a picture with your cell phone of your private parts that someone else is going to see it. Either that, or you’re trying out some new desktop wallpaper options on your PC. Be that as it may, what’s important is to capture the essence of what you’re trying to express with your genital pics.


Trust us, if Michelangelo were around today his crotch-shots would be more lavish than the High-Roller Suite at the Bellagio. Consider the following:


Lighting and Mood. Are your genitals bright and happy? Is your crotch a day at the beach or is your package as dreary as the first-hour of the movie “Se7en?” Lighting and/or mood are the key factors here. Use what you have around you. Try out a couple angles with that shade on your roommate’s lamp his mom gave him for Christmas. Stuck in a bathroom with harsh fluorescent lighting? Some paper towels or toilet paper acting as a filter might really do something to soften up the natural glow that bounces off the testicles.


Perspective. We’re all made differently. It’s a fact of life. But at what range to you want the world to see all that God gave you? Perspective is a not-to-be-overlooked issue. How close or far away or close do you want the lens? Close-up shots tend to give off the feeling of intrusion, like a someone staring directly into a your front door peep-hole. However, far away, distant crotch-shots can be reminiscent of a man-overboard lost in the middle of the pacific.


Clarity. Do you want your junk to be razor-sharp and crystal clear? Or do you want your package to carry a sense of foggy mystique? It’s up to you. The right amount or lack of clarity can really help determine the difference between good and great genital photography. What it all comes down to is this: what says more about you? Take a picture of your genitals underwater. Does the wavy atmosphere look like something that reminds you of your innermost soul, or are you a high-def, James Cameron genital picture person?


Special Effects. This is where the fun starts. Now, there’s nothing wrong with naturalism, but sometimes it’s entertaining to see what can be done in post-production. Is there a film noir theme to your picture? If so, take a look at your photos in black in white with a nice smoky background. But careful not to get to carried away with the special effects, over-exposed shots and people who fall in love bright contrast might tend to look like they have a very debilitating sexually transmitted skin rash. Play your cards right. Also… A funny caption never hurt anyone.


Well, we hope that might give you a little insight into quality genital photography. With enough practice, who knows? You might take that little leap from amateur genital photographer to profession genital photographer.