Disney Greenlights ‘Matterhorn: The Movie’

But in our hearts it will always be Vertical Limit 2.

William Bibbianiby William Bibbiani

Disney's long-standing tradition of turning amusement park rides into movies (of which only one, Pirates of the Caribbean, has been a bona fide success… we're looking at you, Country Bears) continues this week with the recent announcement of The Matterhorn: The Movie, or as it is currently called, The Hill. Since it has less to do with Sidney Lumet's 1965 World War II drama starring Sean Connery and more to do with abominable snowmen, we imagine that title won't last very long. The Matterhorn it is then? Very well.

Hollywood Reporter reports that the film will feature five adventurers who are brought to the top of the Matterhorn under mysterious circumstances and must fight off yetis to get back down again, like you do. The script will be written by Jason Dean Hall, whose only produced screenplay to date is the promptly forgotten 2009 Ashton Kutcher vehicle Spread, a comedy about a serial womanizer. But apparently he's also done a lot of work on such in-development features as the stultifyingly-titled Robin Hood 2058, which we're sure is a good idea.

Despite the success of Pirates of the Caribbean, Disney hasn't exactly gone nuts with adapting its rides into major motion pictures, despite the fact that Hollywood Reporter declares that it's "a priority for the company." Besides Country Bears and the abysmal Eddie Murphy comedy The Haunted Mansion, we've had just about bupkes. But in the works are also films based on the old 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea ride (the connection to which may be a little forced, given that there was also a whole danged book about it first), yet another Haunted Mansion movie (this time brought to you be Guillermo del Toro) and of course Jon Fareau's upcoming Magic Kingdom, which is apparently just like A Night at the Museum, but at Disneyland. Marketing tie-ins, ahoy!

As for Matterhorn, or The Hill, or whatever they want to call it, all we can say is that there are nowhere near enough yeti movies for our tastes. If they could find some way to tie it into the Abominable, the last great abominable snowman movie (and still one of just a handful), that would be appreciated. Thanks.

Crave Online will be back with more Matterhorn news if this ever freaking moves…