Today is my birthday, but I’m giving you the greatest gift of all: 10 funny videos you can post on the Facebook walls of friends who are celebrating their birthdays. Stand out from the folks who just wrote “happy birthday :)” by embedding one of these beauties. Bookmark this page, because you’re going to need it for the rest of your goddamn life! Unless YouTube pulls these videos for copyright infringement, which is when this page becomes entirely useless. Enjoy!
A Birthday Trip To Wal-E-Weasel’s
From the classic "Simpsons" episode "Radio Bart." Actually, given how crazy things have gotten at Chuck E. Cheese, this parody is fairly kind. Today, Homer would literally run down and kill another dad – let's say Kirk Van Houten, because I enjoy borrowing feelings – for a precious parking spot at the pizza time theater.
Darth Vader Has Nice Friends
The problem with focusing so much on the Clone Wars years is that we miss moments like the birthday party above in the Star Wars mythology. Luckily, the Australian sketch show "SkitHOUSE" boldly went where no Star Wars movie has gone before. "What about the expanded universe," you ask. Yeah, I guess there could have been a Vader birthday party in some paperback forgotten a long, long time ago.
Good Idea, Bad Idea
Another good idea: watching my “Animaniacs” DVDs right now. Before I found this video, I had completely forgotten about "Good Idea, Bad Idea." However, the Goodfeathers I think about on a regular basis. What are you saying? You got a problem with my love and admiration of the Goodfeathers? *Cartoon Fight Cloud*
Happy Birthday – Mario Paint Style
This Mario Paint version of the birthday song is awesome. I was not nearly as good at Mario Painting as this YouTube user. I think I was able to recreate "Chopsticks" with pig noises once, but not very well. And my animations never worked. However, that fly swatting game kicked ass. That's where I was a champion.
Happy Birthday From Animal and The Swedish Chef
Two of the most eloquent Muppets perform a birthday serenade. If I was Helen Reddy, I wouldn't care if it was my birthday or not. I'd want to hear Swedish Chef and Animal sing to me, and then I'd quit whatever it was I did to become famous and manage their singing careers. Helen Reddy: A Life Wasted.
Birthday Ninja Turtles
A classic Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles toy commercial. However, I'm a little confused by Donatello's absense. Doesn’t Don celebrate birthdays? Or is he too busy fixing a machine of some kind? Maybe in the Birthday Turtles universe, Donatello is dead, which is why the Turtles need to party all the time – to dull the pain. I'm sure that's it.
Surprise! It’s The Transformers!
Dad: "Happy Birthday, son! Look, all the Transformers are here to wish you a Happy Birthday!"
Son: "Awesome! Yay! But where's Optimus Prime?"
Dad: "Uh… uhm… I don't quite know how to tell you this, but Optimus Prime is… uh… no longer with us."
Son: "You mean he defected to the Decepticons?"
Dad: "No… damn it, a little help here, Hot Rod?"
How To Throw A Spider-Man Birthday Party For A Child
Step-by-step instructions for throwing the ultimate Spider-Man birthday party for your child or manchild. That kid really wishes he could web-up his mom. I like the way she flinches when he tries to web her up, as if to say, "whoa! I'm kinda scared of my own son!" Hey, you can't strike fear into the hearts of villains if you can't even get your mom to flinch.
Happy Birthday, Friend!
Does the birthday song they sing on "Futurama" sounds familiar…? It sounds just like this song that was being sung to me the other night. It was catchy and copyrighted. I think they sang it when cake was brought out… Nah, I'm sure this one's legally very different. Never mind!
Binky The Clown Sings Happy Birthday To Garfield
It's hard to get much more hilariously annoying than Binky the Clown from "Garfield and Friends." I like that he's scary, but not scary in a Stephen King way. He's just scary-intense and never gives up. However, I'll take him over the Buddy Bears any day. I do not get along with those guys.
Geoffrey Golden is the Editor in Chief of The Devastator, “The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans,” in comic book stores across the country.