Time to become a consultant to the Pentagon, receive word that a former President of the United States met with aliens, sit on this information, allow rumors to circulate, release the info to the press, then check out these links!
PETA’s Controversial “Boyfriend Went Vegan” Ad
Abusing animals is bad. Abusing women is badass!
PETCO Might Cut Your Dog’s Ear Off and Glue It Back On
They call it “The Groom of Doom!” [image via]
President Eisenhower Apparently Had Multiple Meetings With Aliens
Agent Mulder, your work here is done.
Dan Aykroyd Will Make Ghostbusters 3 Without Bill Murray, But Rick Moranis Must Be On Board
I think someone’s been hitting the Crystal Head Vodka too hard.
The Most Expensive Starbucks Drink Costs $23.60
A large section of the green slice: “apologizing for stuff.”
That’s all for this edition of The Big List. Join us next week, because I can see into the future, and the future is full of list!
Geoffrey Golden is the Editor in Chief of The Devastator: The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans!