First World Dog Problems

These 10 dogs want a new leash on life.

Geoffrey Golden by Geoffrey Golden

Every dog has its day. Meanwhile, every other day, they wish they had things a little better. A trunk of toys is nice, but couldn’t it be full of bones instead? These are first world dog problems, a meme that examines the longings of suburban dogs who aren’t as content as their happy drooling faces suggest.

 

Tail

Life is meaningless.

 

Water Bowl

I hear the toilet was freshly scrubbed, too.

 

Bone

He’s got a bone to pick with his owners.

 

Squeaky Toy

Nothing to do now but stare at the lesser squeaky toys.

 

Bacon

Looking to adopt a dog, Ron Swanson?

 

Cold

“Colder than a cat’s heart,” the old dog expression goes.

 

Vacuum

Those things suck so much.

 

Hydrants

The bladder is a cruel mistress.

 

Ball

Man’s selfish best friend.

 

Treat

Dogs are gross.

 

Geoffrey Golden is the Editor-In-Chief of The Devastator: The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans! Header via, background via.

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