First World Dog Problems

These 10 dogs want a new leash on life.

Geoffrey Golden by Geoffrey Golden

Every dog has its day. Meanwhile, every other day, they wish they had things a little better. A trunk of toys is nice, but couldn’t it be full of bones instead? These are first world dog problems, a meme that examines the longings of suburban dogs who aren’t as content as their happy drooling faces suggest.



Life is meaningless.


Water Bowl

I hear the toilet was freshly scrubbed, too.



He’s got a bone to pick with his owners.


Squeaky Toy

Nothing to do now but stare at the lesser squeaky toys.



Looking to adopt a dog, Ron Swanson?



“Colder than a cat’s heart,” the old dog expression goes.



Those things suck so much.



The bladder is a cruel mistress.



Man’s selfish best friend.



Dogs are gross.


Geoffrey Golden is the Editor-In-Chief of The Devastator: The Quarterly Comedy Magazine For Humans! Header via, background via.