Considering how much George Lucas has milked the Star Wars franchise, it continues to surprise me that some fans still express shock when he farts out another shameless cash-in. At this point I look upon each sub-par videogame, DVD re-issue and 3D re-release as I would a malignant tumour – it's irritating and will certainly cost me a few sleepless nights, but as it isn't likely to kill me then I shall try not to worry myself about it too much.
Still, there is some humour to be found in Lucas' frequent attempts to urinate over the memories of Star Wars fans. Here are 5 of some of the Star Wars universes' most embarrassing moments:
Han Solo Dancing
Remember that bit in Empire Strikes Back when Han Solo burst into an impromptu remix of Jason Derulo's 'Ridin' Solo' just before he was about to sealed in Carbonite, changing the lyrics to 'I'm Han Solo' and engaging in a dance-off with Lando Calrissian? It's surprising that more people don't bring that scene up when they talk about that movie, it was really out of place.
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Yoda's Vodafone advert
It's a little known fact that after the fall of the Jedi, Yoda took a short vacation from Dagobah in order to visit planet Earth. He was promptly dissuaded from living there permanently after some twat in a cardigan tried to sell him a Vodafone price plan.
"Now you can try C-3PO's!"
The downfall of Kellogg's C-3PO's was that it was named after the least edible character in the Star Wars universe. A more fitting subject for a breakfast cereal would perhaps be those warthogs that the Rancor ate in Return of the Jedi, but Kellogg's Gamorrean's sounds less like food and more like a venereal disease.
Princess Leia's musical number
"We celebrate a day of peace" sings Princess Leia in the closing number of the Star Wars Holiday Special (song begins at 3:58). Ironic, considering anyone watching her sing is feeling nothing but intense hatred and venemous rage.
You're the creator of Darth Vader, arguably the most recognisable villain in film history and winner of countless 'Top 10 Bad Guys' lists. You're releasing three prequels based upon the 'heart-wrenching' tale of his transition from a Jedi do-gooder to the evil face of the Empire.
After two critically lambasted films, you decide that you must go all out in the finale of the prequel trilogy, that finally depicts the moment where Anakin Skywalker transforms into Darth Vader. As Vader finally rises up for the very first time, adorning the infamous black mask and cape, you choose to make your legendary antagonist shout one, solitary word in order to sum up the moment: "No".
Cue immense audience laughter.