With wedding season wrapping up this year, we here at CRAVE thought we'd honor the tradition of the Best Man Speech. But not just any best man speech, the one's done by a best men who've been enjoying the open bar way too much. Imagine it -- Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, all in attendence on the best day of your life while your best friend from college slurrs about two co-eds that gave you VD.
It takes a certain kind of drunk to give a best man speech. The best man needs to be 15% jealous, 15% a disspointment to his parents, 50% douche-y, and 30% comprised entirely of Stoli Vodka. That's when the magic happens! Here's a classic example:
1. Awkward Tenacious D Best Man:
So much for the regal pomp and circumstance that the British military is known for for.
Nothing like an anal sex joke to round out the night.
3. Train Wreck Time:
Nothing deserves a USA! USA! chant more than a wedding.
4. You Almost Feel Bad for This Guy:
Oh boy, I hope he found his way back to the Autism outreach clinic okay.
5. You Know it's Bad When You Get a Stern A Talking To During the Speech:
It's the subtle rage that makes it perfect.
6. Puking Wedding Toast:
This is why it's a good idea to have a two-drinks at a time maximum.