Stuck in the Friend Zone? Author Jack Dalton wants to help. He was once a jack-in-the-box (the Friend Zone box – stay with me here) who broke out and wrote a book: Hesitation Leads To Masturbation (Amazon | iTunes), a humorous field guide for shy, nerdy guy who want to level up his sex life. Here are Jack Dalton’s 8 rules for geek dating:
1. Don't let yourself be the loser friend: "I’ve hung out with those dudes who can slay a chick with just one look. I had become their quirky annoying sidekick, and we all know where that gets us – Jonah Hill, anyone? I was a f***ing mosquito and women were walking around with gallons of OFF."
2. Hit the cantina, but don't make a geeky dude cloud: "A true Boba Fett will strategically order drinks, picking a spot at the bar that will put them in the closest proximity to where the hot girls are standing."
3. Put yourself out there: "It’s not an eighth grade dance so stop f***ing staring at chicks with your dick in your hand!"
4. Avoid the geeky friend zone by being upfront: "The minute I meet a woman, it’s like I’m playing the sex-version of the board game Clue, but instead of Professor Plum in the dining room with the revolver, it’s more like, ‘Hot brunette riding me in her hotel room after toasts at the rehearsal dinner.’" Also, Clue references can't hurt either!
5. Go to your friends' weddings prepared: "Weddings are the Ho Chi Minh of crushing: big groups, easy targets, and enough ammo, i.e. booze, drugs, condoms to decimate a room of otherwise polite civilians."
6. Take a plane to Comic-Con: "[The Airport] is a speed-dating contest with rolling suitcases. People are heading off to new places and, thus, looking for someone to commiserate or celebrate with (depending on where you’re going). If you have an ounce of skill and tenacity, you can kill it in an airport."
7. No more searching Craigslist Missed Connections after Anime Expo: "Your goal is to go in for the quick intro, establish a fast rapport, qualify, and get her number. Leverage the fact that you probably won’t see each other again. Worst-case scenario is that she says, ‘No,’ and you get some free practice at going in and bringing you closer to banging someone else."
8. Women actually like geeky jokes: "Keep them laughing, and they will keep coming! You could have a big wallet, but, without a personality, you’re Forever Alone."