It's Bonfire Night in the UK today, which means we celebrate Guy Fawkes' failed plan to blow up the government by spending a shitload of money on fireworks and standing outside in the freezing cold to watch our hard-earned cash literally explode before our eyes.
With that being said, today's also the perfect day to recount the best, most utterly ridiculous firework displays ever.
The Grand Opening of the World's Tallest Building
The Dubanese goverment are essentially engaged in a dick-swinging contest with the rest of the world to see who can spend their country's wealth on frivolous things such as really tall buildings and islands shaped like the Earth. While some of their decisions may not have been the most economically sensible, it's difficult to argue while you're too busy gawping at an apocalyptic firework display on the Burj Khalifa.
The World's Largest Firework Display
Surprisingly, the accolade for the world's largest firework display doesn't belong to the dick-swingers in Dubai, but rather to the island of Madeira, Portugal. 66,326 fireworks were used in 2006 to make the island look like it was under attack by very flamboyant aliens.
San Diego's Quick & Efficient Independence Day Display
At the centre of that explosion there is a Japanese anime character turning Super Saiyan.
For years I have said that firework displays would be much better if they simply fired them all once, and this video proves it. Although the reasoning behind the San Diego 2012 Independence Day firework display lasting 30 seconds, rather than the scheduled 20 minutes, was due to a supposed "technical error", in truth it's better than anything the organisers could've planned.
London's New Year 2012 Display
London celebrated the beginning of the year in which they would host the Olympic games by putting on a particularly showy fireworks display. Watch as Big Ben vomits fire, the London eye is drowned in smoke and a little girl at the 2:19 mark soils herself with fear.
Sydney's New Year 2012 Display
Refusing to be outdone by London, Sydney celebrated New Year's Day 2012 by putting on what looked like a particularly eccentric controlled demolition of the harbour bridge.
Photo: Getty Images