Confused By the Super Bowl? You’re Not the Only One

If you watched the Super Bowl and wondered WTF was going on, you're not alone.

Paul Tamburroby Paul Tamburro

In case you spent last night sleeping under a rock/didn't check your Twitter feed, then I'll start by informing you that the Super Bowl happened. If, like me, you are not an American, chances are last night saw you fall into one of three categories:

  1. You watched the Super Bowl with a group of friends and actually understood what was happening, but was forced to spend the majority of the night explaining the rules to your friends, who in turn spent the majority of their night bemoaning the NFL for being "boring".
  2. You watched the Super Bowl with a group of friends and didn't understand a thing, but proceeded to get drunk anyway whilst one of your friends repeatedly attempted to explain the rules to you. You ignored him because the NFL is boring.
  3. You didn't watch the Super Bowl because why would you willingly watch something that you don't understand?

So, if you were one of the many non-Americans who still isn't sure about what a Super Bowl is, then rest assured your confusion was echoed across the internet. 


What is a Super Bowl?

The Super Bowl XLVII (or the Super Bowl Ecsalveeee, to give it its official title) saw the Baltimore Ravens and San Francisco 49ers go head to head in order to win the Super Bowl. But what is the Super Bowl? YouTuber ZeFrank purported to have all the answers back in 2006, when he first presented the internet with his 'Super Bowl Explained' video. 


Why All the Commercials?

Here in Britain even our most high-profile sporting events will be interspersed by dull advertisements of loans, insurance and other important stuff that distracts us from watching a group of men kick a ball on some grass, but in America the Super Bowl commercials are arguably more well-publicised than the game itself. Unfortunately, British coverage of the Super Bowl didn't show these commercials, instead cutting to some "expert analysis" from 3 blokes, none of whom were The Rock, because he was out for most of the day fetching some milk.


What's Wrong with GoDaddy?

"Hi Kevin, it's Jason here, I remember you saying that we need to register a domain name for our highly reputable company's official website and, after watching the Super Bowl last night, I think we should sign up with"

"Oh really? Why so?"

"Well, their Super Bowl commercial was Bar Refaeli awkwardly frenching a little fat fellow for 30 seconds."



Who Won?

Beyonce Shines in Super Bowl Halftime Show [Video]

I have no idea how she did it considering that she isn't even a professional footballer, but Beyonce somehow won the Super Bowl. From the photos I've seen of the event she wasn't even dressed in appropriate attire, due to the fact that she reunited with Kelly Rowland and The Other One in the half-time show for a musical performance of some sort. Congratulations on your success, Beyonce! I hope you use your Super Bowl for good, not evil.

Photo: Getty Images