Patton Oswalt Pitches Star Wars: Episode VII on “Parks and Rec”

VIDEO: The horrifying fate of Chewbacca will be revealed in Patton Oswalt's Star Wars: Episode VII.

William Bibbianiby William Bibbiani

Let the filibustering begin!

Patton Oswalt guest stars on NBC's "Parks and Recreation" this Thursday, April 18, but you don't have to wait that long to see him ruin Star Wars: Episode VII. In the episode, "Article Two," Oswalt embarks on a "Citizen's Filibuster" and in order to block a bill, and fills his time on the stand with an impossibly epic pitch for Star Wars: Episode VII

Patton Oswalt Star Wars Episode VIII don't want to ruin his pitch, but while the Patton Oswalt Star Wars: Episode VII demonstrates a deep respect for the works of Brian De Palma, I am once again forced to take issue with the comedian's disdain for Hawkeye. Oswalt seems to believe that Hawkeye is not only a second-tier Marvel superhero, but somehow less significant or interesting than Moon Knight or Hercules. Mr. Oswalt is either unaware or unwilling to accept that Hawkeye is one of the greatest marksmen in the Marvel Universe, has led multiple superhero teams including The Avengers West Coast and the Thunderbolts, and has singlehandedly defeated one of the Elders of the Universe. Neither Moon Knight nor Hercules can boast these claims.

Mr. Oswalt? I do not ask you to change your Star Wars: Episode VII pitch, nor do I even ask you to change your mind. I would, however, greatly appreciate it if you would finally give credit where credit is due. Hawkeye deserves at least that much.

Watch the rest of the clip to see the complete, unedited version of Patton Oswalt's Star Wars: Episode VII from "Parks and Recreation" which, judging from the opening title scrawl, will probably not be included in its entirety in this week's episode.

William Bibbiani is the editor of CraveOnline's Film Channel, co-host of The B-Movies Podcast, co-star of The Trailer Hitch, and the writer of The Test of Time. Follow him on Twitter at @WilliamBibbiani.