Trolling #2: Harry Potter SUCKS!

As an exercise in pissing you off, we posit how the Harry Potter universe sucks.

Witney Seiboldby Witney Seibold

Welcome back to CraveOnline's Trolling, my dearest readers. This is a series of articles devoted to building up the things most people hate, and tearing down the things most people love. It is designed to spark thought and debate, and perhaps shake up the complacent geek status quo. A natural byproduct of this series will naturally be outrage and argument, so if you have hateful things to say, I wholly encourage you enter them into the comment section below. Be rough. I can take it.

You may feel like going on the attack when I make the following statement: Harry Potter sucks.

The final Harry Potter film was released in theaters in the Summer of 2011, and it brought to a close a decade-long international obsession with the famed boy wizard. At the time, Harry Potter knelt astride popular culture like a mighty colossus, dominating both bookstores and movie theaters with equal domination, only perhaps threatened by The Lord of the Rings as the reigning champion of all fantasy literature to date. Two years have passed, and the world's obsession with Harry Potter has given way to a mild background buzz, a nostalgia for what was once great, and is now quickly receding into the collective unconsciousness.

I'm not going to let it go so quietly. Based largely on the Harry Potter movies, I am going to dissect and analyze, in a very general way, what Harry Potter did wrong. Starting with the boy himself.  

Is Harry Potter still enchanting and wonderful? For a short while at the beginning, yes. For the first two films, I had no complaints, and found them to be dramatic and fun and dazzling. The world of Hogwarts and wizards is still a unique and enjoyable place to ponder, built on a complex and intriguing mythology, and seems like the type of place you'd want to visit or even attend for seven years. The series contains many flashes of adventure and fantasy that captured the world like no other fantasy novel. Eventually, though, the Harry Potter series climbed up its own ass and set up camp.

Until next week, let the hate mail flow.  


Witney Seibold is a featured contributor on the CraveOnline Film Channel, co-host of The B-Movies Podcast and co-star of The Trailer Hitch. You can read his weekly articles Trolling, Free Film School and The Series Project, and follow him on “Twitter” at @WitneySeibold, where he is slowly losing his mind. If you want to buy him a gift (and I know you do), you can visit his Amazon Wish List