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Are You Serious?: The injured Lakers

Who hates the Lakers? Andrew Bynum’s knee does!

Are You Serious?: The injured Lakers


By Dante’ Maddox
Dammit! Are you serious? Firstly the only reason I’m allowed to cheer for the Lakers is because there is a Clipper on the roster, and a good one at that.

If only Lamar Odom would play like the 6’11 monster forward with lightning speed that I know he is. Note to Lamar, “Dude, you’re not George Gervin, dunk on somebody already! Hell, even the Iceman would agree!” C’mon man, how do I have to say it, you’re a big man who is more than competitive at power forward, but are quick enough to eat most other small forwards alive. Do I have to remind you how hard it is to stop a big man who can play a smaller position better than most small men? Dude, you play for the Lakers! You know the team that featured a certain six foot nine point guard? What, do you need inspiration? I have to say however, when you did go up strong for the ‘and one’ against the Knicks last night I flew out of my seat! Just to watch in horror as you fell to the ground in pain. Maybe it’s your knees and ankles that need a stern talking to? In all fairness I’m hard on you because you’re the only Laker I am a personal fan of, and you’re not the reason your team is struggling (even though I’m firmly convinced that if you would just get hypnotized or something you and Koby would split 80 points, 20 assists, and 20 rebounds every damn night), Andrew Bynum’s playa hatin’ knee is the blame.

When Shaq left, the Lakers lost depth in the middle and we all knew that would be the case. Even though the diesel turned around and won a title the following season, the Lakers still won out on that deal in the long run. Getting Andrew Bynum on the roster assured that Kobe would have enough help in the middle to make a run at the Finals (while his knees are still cooperating), and that the Lakers would potentially have one of the most promising big men on their roster going into the future complete with a winning mentality. But apparently Andrew Bynum’s knee must have missed a meeting or something, because obviously it doesn’t feel like seeing the post season. When asked how his rehab was going Bynum described the swelling of his knee as watermelon sized!! That fat lazy bitch, doesn’t his knee understand that there is still basketball to be played here? Now is not the time to let ‘yourkneeself’ go. Now the Lakers are going on a really tough road trip which Bynum has to miss because his knee needs a f**kin’ rub down! What’s next, Lebron James’ wrist holds out until it can get a new watch deal? This is bulls**t!

This had better not be a diabolical scheme by the Pheonix Suns (did anyone else notice Amare Stoudemire ‘not’ list the Lakers as a west coast competitor even though they’ve been breathing down their necks since 2008 began on PTI the other day?) to win the west! A certain 6’10’ center from the southwest had better mark his calendar for the day LA’s resident seven footer returns to the line-up.

At an un-athletic 5’10’ Dante’ will still dunk on Amare Stoudemire somehow!