Welcome to CraveOnline's Idiot Box Updates, where we run down all the latest TV news and separate the facts from the rumors and nonsense on and about the small screen.
Here's a list of the top 20 prime-time shows by viewership numbers, compiled by Nielsen Media Research for April 6-12:
1. "American Idol" (Wednesday), Fox, 22.98 million viewers.
2. "American Idol" (Tuesday), Fox, 22.81 million viewers.
3. "Dancing with the Stars," ABC, 19.88 million viewers.
4. "NCIS," CBS, 17.81 million viewers.
5. NCAA Men's Basketball Championship: Michigan St. vs. North Carolina," CBS, 17.65 million viewers.
6. "The Mentalist," CBS, 16.92 million viewers.
7. "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation," CBS, 16.62 million viewers.
8. "Dancing with the Stars Results," ABC, 14.56 million viewers.
9. "Criminal Minds," CBS, 13.61 million viewers.
10. "House," Fox, 13.29 million viewers.
11. "60 Minutes," CBS, 12.82 million viewers.
12. "CSI: NY," CBS, 12.5 million viewers.
13. "Without a Trace," CBS, 12.15 million viewers.
14. "Prelude to a Championship," CBS, 12.15 million viewers.
15. "Surviving Suburbia," ABC, 11.25 million viewers.
16. "Survivor: Tocantins," CBS, 11.24 million viewers.
17. "24," Fox, 10.96 million viewers.
18. "Amazing Race 14," CBS, 10.57 million viewers.
19. "Cold Case," CBS, 10.56 million viewers.
20. "Harper's Island," CBS, 10.21 million viewers.
In a brilliantly awesome tie-in for Universal Pictures' upcoming film Land of the Lost, Will Ferrell will guest star on an upcoming episode of the Discovery Channel's popular reality series "Man vs. Wild."
The episode, set to air in early June in tandem with the June 5 release of the movie, features "Man vs. Wild" star Bear Grylls taking Ferrell through real-life survival situations in the icy mountain and glacier ranges in the northernmost reaches of Sweden.
Together, the two tandem-abseil off a helicopter, rappel down hundred-foot frozen waterfalls and build a shelter to stay warm overnight in subzero temperatures. Grylls shows Ferrell what it takes to find food in the frozen forests as they climb trees, improvise snow shoes from saplings, drink their own urine and even bite into reindeer eyeballs. Hell yes, I say.
"Will did an amazing job in subzero very unforgiving conditions," Grylls said. "He should be very proud of how he performed."
Ferrell added: "To be able to participate in an episode of 'Man vs. Wild' was a thrill of a lifetime, even though I did get urine-drunk, which is sad."
The Sci Fi Channel has a star-stugged guest lineup for its upcoming series "SGU: Stargate Universe." The show, headed by Robert Carlyle, Lou Diamond Phillips and Ming-Na, follows a group of survivors aboard an ancient ship who are unable to return to Earth.
Fans will undoubtedly be thrilled to recognize four veterans of the "Stagate" franchise, Richard Dean Anderson, Amanda Tapping, Michael Shanks and Gary Jones when they reprise their respective roles in guest spots on the show.
Anderson will play General O'Neil, the former leader of the elite military team SG-1. Tapping plays Samantha Carter, an astrophysicist and U.S. Air Force lieutenant colonel. Shanks plays Dr. Daniel Jackson, Stargate's archeologist and linguist. Jones plays Chief Master Sgt. Walter Harriman, commander technician of the team.
Additionally, "Stargate" alum Christopher McDonald will play Sen. Alan Armstrong, the U.S. senator and head of the International Oversight Committee that governs the Stargate program. He is the father to Chloe Armstrong (Elyse Levesque).
Grammy-nominted Janelle Monae will play herself and will perform with her band two songs from her latest album, "Many Moons" and "Sincerely."
Carlo Rota will play Carl Strom, head of the International Oversight Advisory, the civilian oversight committee that heads up the Atlantis expedition and all funding.
After lengthy talks, NBC has finally renewed a deal with Wolf Films to bring veteran crime drama "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit" back for an 11th season. However, the show's central stars, Mariska Hargitay and Christopher Meloni, still have no deals to return. The two regularly negotiate their contracts together, but only started talks with the network last week.
After a tough showdown with the network back in 2007, Emmy winner Hargitay and Meloni each signed two-year deals that brought their paychecks up to about $350,000 an episode. But as networks are looking to cut costs because of the recession and dwindling primetime ratings, getting raises will be much more difficult this time around.
The flipside, of course, is that Hargitay and Meloni are the two stars of the show, and it's hard to imagine "SVU" continuing without both of them.
Stephen Colbert with square off with his musical nemesis, the Decemberists, once again. The Decemberists said Monday that they will perform on Comedy Central's "The Colbert Report" on April 27.
Colbert and the band were embroiled in a mock feud back in 2006 after Colbert accused the Decemberists of copying his idea of a fan-created "greenscreen challenge." The feud culminated in a much-hyped "ShredDown" in which Decemberists guitarist Chris Funk took on Colbert in a guitar solo contest. Despite being bested on the frets, Colbert claimed victory in one of the show's most star-studded episodes that featured Henry Kissinger, Morley Safer, Peter Frampton and former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer.
In more Colbert news, NASA announced Tuesday that it won't name a room in the international space station after the comedian after all. Instead, it has named a treadmill after him.
NASA had held an online contest to name a room (or "node") at the international space station. With write-in votes, the name "Colbert" beat out NASA's four suggested options: Serenity, Legacy, Earthrise and Venture.
On Tuesday's "The Colbert Report" on Comedy Central, astronaut Sunita Williams delivered the disappointing announcement that NASA — which always maintained it had the right to choose an appropriate name — would not name the node after Colbert. It will be called Tranquility, the eighth most popular response submitted by respondents in the poll. The node's name alludes to where Apollo 11 landed on the moon — the Sea of Tranquility.
NASA and Colbert compromised by naming a treadmill used for exercising in space after Colbert, with an acronym spelled out to Combined Operational Load Bearing External Resistance Treadmill (COLBERT).
Leave it to America. A day after the bloody rescue of a U.S. ship captain from Somali pirates, a Spike TV said Monday that it will air a reality show about the U.S. Navy's mission to stop piracy off the coast of Africa.
Producers and the Navy have been in talks for three months about the show, titled "Pirate Hunters: USN." It's expected to air as a one-hour special in the fall on Spike TV. The Navy will allow cameras from Spike and 44 Blue Productions to capture life aboard warships USS San Antonio and USS Boxer as their crews search for pirates.
On Sunday, Navy snipers shot dead three Somali pirates holding cargo ship captain Richard Phillips captive off the coast of Somalia. That's what I call prime-time action!
Whimpering, delusional Fox News host Glenn Beck knows that this is the moment he's waited all his pasty life for, and he's milking it for all it's worth. On one of his recent shows, he picked up a gasoline can, pretending he was President Barack Obama. He poured gasoline on the "American people" as he emptied the can (filled with water) on a shivering actor and lit a match.
It was one of Beck's "crank up the crazy and rip off the knob" moments, to borrow the words of Stephen Colbert. Whatever it is, the crazy draws ratings, as Fox knows very well. From his start at Fox in mid-January, Beck's 5 p.m. show has averaged more than 2.2 million viewers through March 29, according to Nielsen Media Research. That's more than twice what Fox had in the time slot a year ago. Except for Bill O'Reilly and Sean Hannity, Beck has more viewers than any other cable news show, and he's on at a time many people are at work.
Beck, 45, focuses on the advancement of libertarian views and has opposed government bailouts. He goes for the shock value, saying Obama is leading the country toward "a brand of nonviolent fascism." At one point, he ran a picture of Adolf Hitler that switched to one of Obama and British Prime Minister Gordon Brown. He described the nation's government as "full of vampires that are trying to suck the life blood out of the economy."
He has likened the stimulus package to the "nanny state" and even slavery. He's said Obama has "surrounded himself with Marxists his whole life." Essentially, Beck's real talent is taking pre-existing hysteria and conspiracy theories and making them seem palatable.
Jack Bauer will be saving the world from New York City on the next season of Fox's "24." The smash hit series, which left Los Angeles for Washington this season, will set its eighth season in New York, EW.com reports. The new season is set to begin filming in late spring and thus will have a significant portion of the production behind it when it hits the air in January 2010.
As has been the case for much of this season, "24" will actually do most of its filming at its Los Angeles home base. It's a safe bet to assume, however, that Kiefer Sutherland and the crew will take a field trip or two to New York to shoot some scenes.
You might have seen the clip already. If not, let me introduce you to Susan Boyle. The immensely-ugly, unemployed 47 year-old seemed a very unlikely candidate on "Britain's Got Talent," but her performance on the reality competition show reduced millions of viewers to blubbering messes.
Watch the clip here. I dare you not to sniffle.
The goofy music played over her introduction reflects how the judges, hosts, studio audience and even viewers don't take her seriously - at all. Everyone expected a ridiculous, ear-piercing rendition of a song that's far inferior to her perception of her talents. But as soon as she begins "I Dreamed a Dream" from Les Miserables, jaws hit the floor. Eyes filled with tears. Hell, even Satan's henchman himself, Simon Cowell, made a goofy, captivated smile while watching her.
That's one dream realized.
"Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles" is pretty much done, according to sources close to the show. Networks always tend to hold the cards close about the future of their shows, but according to EW.com's Michael Ausiello (who in the past has been very reliable) Fox has already made the decision to cancel Terminator. His source says, "It's done. Everybody has pretty much known for a couple of weeks." Another source says, "Consider it cancelled."
And what does Fox say? "No decision has been made yet." Of course.
What do you think? Should the show be cancelled, or given another chance as we await Terminator: Salvation next month? Personally, I never really bought into the characters. Sarah Connor was too bland, a milquetoast version of Linda Hamilton's character from the original Terminator films. Without that powerful title lead, the show was doomed from the start. Besides, am I the only one who wanted to see John Connor get killed? He was terribly cast, and I never could get to liking him on the show.
Former "American Idol" star Fantasia Barrino will return to reality television in a new unscripted series on VH1. The nine-time Grammy nominee has received a series commitment for a new show that will premiere early next year.
"Fantasia has one of the most fascinating stories in show business, from her tough upbringing to her meteoric rise on the national scene thanks to 'American Idol,' " said Jeff Olde, executive vp original programming at VH1. "Her challenges from fame and her unwillingness to fail have combined to create a larger-than-life talent who appeals to music lovers around the world. So many people wanted to work with her on this, but Fantasia is now part of the VH1 family, and we're so happy to have her."
VH1's very on-brand project will chronicle Fantasia's life as a recording artist and young single mother. The series is executive produced by Fenton Bailey, Randy Barbato and Tom Campbell for World of Wonder, with Jill Holmes, Kristen Kelly and Olde producing for the network.
"Fantasia's life has been an open book, but at 24 years old, her story has just begun," Barbato said. "We look forward to smashing expectations and revealing the fresh, funny and unexpected side of this one-of-a-kind country girl and superstar."
Yay?
I was going to talk about Octomom's reality show (is it happening? Is it not? Who f**king cares?!) here, but I'd rather not leave the taste of a child-exploiting lunatic attention-whore in your mouth this week. Let's leave on a high note.
Jennifer Jason Leigh has signed on for a recurring role on Showtime's comedy series "Weeds," playing Mary-Louise Parker's estranged older sister.
Leigh is set to appear in at least two episodes of the series, which was picked up last year for Seasons 5 and 6.
As Nancy (Parker) finds herself and her family in harm's way, she sends her brother-in-law, Andy (Justin Kirk), to takeher son, Shane (Alexander Gould), to live with her estranged older sister, Jill (Leigh). But when Jill gets fed up with her own suburban family, she finds her way back into Nancy's life - jealous, frustrated and intent on finally burying the hatchet with her little sister.
The fifth season of "Weeds" premieres in June. Can't wait!
