Welcome to CraveOnline's Idiot Box Updates, where we run down all the latest TV news and separate the facts from the rumors and nonsense on and about the small screen.
Here's a list of the top 10 prime-time shows by viewership numbers, compiled by Nielsen Media Research for March 9-16:
1. "American Idol" (Tuesday), Fox, 25.77 million;
2. "American Idol" (Wednesday), Fox, 25.55 million;
3. "Dancing With the Stars," ABC, 22.83 million;
4. "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation," CBS, 17.13 million viewers;
5. "Desperate Housewives," ABC, 14.6 million;
6. "Criminal Minds," CBS, 14.34 million;
7. "The Mentalist," CBS, 14.32 million;
8. "CSI: Miami," CBS, 14.22 million;
9. "Grey's Anatomy," ABC, 13.64 million;
10. "CSI: NY," CBS, 13.63 million.
Here's a list of the top 10 cable shows by viewership numbers, compiled by Nielsen Media Research for March 9-16:
1. "WWE Raw" USA, 3.74 million homes, 5.64 million viewers.
2. "WWE Raw" USA, 3.45 million homes, 5.16 million viewers.
3. "Hannah Montana" Disney, 3.25 million homes, 4.42 million viewers.
4. "NCIS" USA, 3.24 million homes, 4.22 million viewers.
5. "NCIS" USA, 3.14 million homes, 4 million viewers.
6. "NCIS" USA, 3.07 million homes, 3.98 million viewers.
7. "SpongeBob SquarePants" Nickelodeon, 3.06 million homes, 4.24 million viewers.
8. "Wizards of Waverly Place" Disney, 3.05 million homes, 4.16 million viewers.
9. "Sonny With a Chance" Disney, 3 million homes, 3.99 million viewers.
10. "SpongeBob SquarePants" Nickelodeon, 2.97 million homes, 3.98 million viewers.
11. "ICarly" Nickelodeon, 2.95 million homes, 3.87 million viewers.
12. "NCIS" USA, 2.93 million homes, 3.84 million viewers.
13. "Comedy Central Roast" Comedy Central, 2.9 million homes, 4.07 million viewers.
14. "SpongeBob SquarePants" Nickelodeon, 2.88 million homes, 3.96 million viewers.
15. "The O'Reilly Factor" Fox News Channel, 2.84 million homes, 3.61 million viewers.
Most of you are probably sick of "South Park" by now. After more than a decade, the sheen of foul-mouthed kids wreaking havoc in a small Colorado town has undoubtedly worn off - but last night's episode was a blazing return to form, and if you head over to Comedycentral.com you can watch the entire thing right now. Trust me. Cartman is a crime-fighting "superhero" named The Coon. Just let your imaginations run on that one.
HBO pulled its largest audience for a comedy special in five years with "Will Ferrell: You're Welcome America - A Final Night with George W. Bush," which drew 2.3 million viewers, the most since "Chris Rock: Never Scared" in 2004. Stay tuned for CraveOnline's review of the big Bush spoof event.
Stephen Colbert is headed to the Persian Gulf. Comedy Central's footing the bill for "The Colbert Report" to tape four shows for the troops as part of a USO tour. Colbert, who announced the trip on Tuesday's show, said in a statement that he couldn't reveal his exact overseas destination. "The fact that I can't tell you where I'm going should tell you where I'm going," said the relentlessly satirical host. Dates and the location of Colbert's Persian Gulf visit were withheld for security reasons at the USO's request.
If you were a big fan of VH1's "Behind the Music" series, you're about to get happy. The music channel is bringing back the iconic documentary show - they're ordering about 10 new episodes of "Music," which started in 1997.
Lil Wayne and Scott Weiland have signed on to participate, so far, but you can bet your voyeuristic ass that you'll be seeing a lot more artists sign up.
"It felt like the time is right," said Jeff Olde, VH1 executive vice president of original programing. "There's all sorts of new artists on the scene who have emerged and have these great stories. And there's other artists that we always wanted to do the first time around."
Two new NBC shows barely made a dent in the Nielsen ratings, much to the disappointment of the network. The ambitious two-hour opener of "Kings," the modern-day tale of David & Goliath, starring Ian McShane, was seen by only 6.1 million viewers last week. Strange that that's considered a failure, but there it is.
NBC's reality show "Chopping Block" had only 3.8 million viewers, far short of the 7.7 million people who watched Fox's "Hell's Kitchen," which "Block" was clearly derived from.
Despite dishing out more than $400,000 for George Clooney to scrub up again, NBC did nothing to promote his appearance. So naturally, fewer than 11 million people watched the return of original stars Clooney, Noah Wyle, Eriq La Salle and Julianna Margulies on "ER" last Thursday. It's the biggest audience for the show in two years, but still about a third of what those actors routinely drew during their first runs. Clooney's appearance was largely kept under wraps and not promoted, which makes absolutely no sense. Why spend nearly half a million dollars on something you're not going to tell people about? 11 million people sounds like a hell of a lot to me, but someone at NBC needs to be fired for that call.
Oh, how quickly the times change. Anyone blasting their trumpet about liberals are ruining this country need only to look at the fact that pothead spokesman and Olympian Michael Phelps had his "Dateline NBC" TV numbers tripled by Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke in a TV duel. "60 Minutes," with a Bernanke interview, was seen by 12.9 million viewers while Phelps' "Dateline NBC" interview at the same time with Phelps discussing his drug use was seen by 4.3 million people, Nielsen said.
When the Federal Reserve Chairman triples the network ratings of the most accomplished and controversial Olympian in history, you can rest assured that this country is in a very unique place.
Anyone still trumpeting the quality of "Heroes" might have a hard time with that tune when they see that the superhero show has fallen right out of broadcast TV's Top 25 standings for 18-to-49-year-old viewers. Their target demo was dominated once again by Tuesday and Wednesday's "American Idol," as well as "Dancing With the Stars," "Desperate Housewives" and "Grey's Anatomy."
Sorry, guys - teenage girls still kick your asses in the ratings.That's just the way it goes.
Jon Stewart's "The Daily Show" bloodbath with "Mad Money" host Jim Cramer as the sacrificial lamb was certainly good for business.The increasingly relevant and influencial newscast averaged 2.1 million viewers last week, a 17 percent jump from the previous week. Cramer recorded his biggest audience (378,000) on the night of the face-off, despite being impaled like a pig and roasted on a spit of condemnation and accountability on "The Daily Show." Stewart, who has rapidly replaced Colbert on Comedy Central as the post-election place to be, needed no help from Cramer's appearance. He's been absolutely on fire lately, and his biggest show (2.3 million) came the night before he declawed the Bear Stearns booster.
If you haven't been watching, now's a good time to start. Stewart has hit a stride unlike anything he's managed so far in his career, and it suits him well. In a perfect world, He'd take over for Letterman whenever the hell he retires.
By the way: Jeff Zucker, the chief executive of NBC Universal, Stewart's recurring ginsu jobs on business network CNBC "incredibly unfair." At a media conference Wednesday in New York, Zucker said the "Daily Show" host's recent criticisms of CNBC, its "Mad Money" host Jim Cramer and business media in general were "completely out of line." Of course. Do you expect him to applaud the fact that a cable TV host has single-handedly kicked the almighty proverbial shit out of an entire network?
Stewart hasn't minced words in his disdain for the misleading tactics on CNBC, arguing that journalists who cover Wall Street should have done more to warn of the financial meltdown through critical reporting, instead of acting like market cheerleaders. Zucker said while interviewed on a stage by BusinessWeek that while "everyone wants to find a scapegoat," to suggest that the business media or CNBC was responsible for the economic meltdown is "absurd." Responsible for the meltdown? No. Responsible for misleading the entire nation? Hell yes.
The CW deserves this one: after completely non-advertising-supported set of repeats of "Jericho" on The CW scored a 0 in ratings. A zero. Nada. Let that sink in, anyone trying to get this batch of ass restored yet again. Give up. Move on. It's over.
"Knight Rider" has been booted. Ha. The show's season finale had a 21% drop in ratings from its premiere, bringing an end to a terrible series that should never have gotten off the ground. Good riddance.
NBC announced yesterday that it has ordered a new reality series called "The Sing-Off," which features a capella groups competing against each other in "American Idol" fashion. Fail.
The total viewership for "The Sarah Connor Chronicles" has fallen to below 3 million. Perhaps it's time to abandon the focus on Sarah’s “3 dot pursuit” and spend a little more time on Cameron, no? Or is it too late already?
ABC’s reboot of "V" has signed Morena Baccarin (aka "Firefly"’s Inara and "Stargate SG-1"’s Adria). She's been cast as Anna, whose referred to as the “frontwoman” for the alien visitors who come to Earth. I'm thrilled for this one, even though it will, in all likelihood, be a miserable disaster. The original still haunts me - I remember watching it as a little kid, scared out of my minds at the idea that people are really lizards under their skin.
Awesome news: "The Soup"'s Joel McHale is getting his own starring role in a sitcom! Even awesomer news: Chevy Chase has joined the cast too!
I'm talking about "Community," which takes place at a community college and stars McHale as a lawyer who is forced to go back to college when it's discovered that his college degree is missing some credits. Chase will play a fellow student who has been married five times.
I don't know about you, but I'm hoping that this marks a win for Chase, who's had a hell of a streak of bad luck in the past... ohh... two decades or so. Anyone who watched his short-lived talk show or saw his roast on Comedy Central know how painful his failures have been. Here's to a hit for Chevy. He deserves it.
"The Big Bang Theory" and "Two and a Half Men" have been renewed for an average of two-and-a-half seasons. The news is somewhat anticlimactic, as it was previously reported that creator Chuck Lorre let the good news spill to his crew a while back. "Men," currently in its sixth season, will now air through the 2011-2012 season, taking it to a guaranteed ninth season (barring any unforeseen difficulties). "Theory," currently in its second season, has been renewed through the 2010-2011 season, guaranteeing a fourth season of the new hit.
Hip-hop drama queen Kanye West will guest star on "The Cleveland Show." The self-professed "Family Guy" fan will get animated when the show's spinoff debuts on FOX next season. He'll be joined in the episode by Taraji P. Henson ("The Curious Case of Benjamin Button"). The plot is said to revolve around Cleveland's (Mike Henry) teenage son Cleveland Jr. (Kevin Michael Richardson), who engages in a rap battle with his nemesis Kenny West (West) for the affections of a classmate named Chanel (Henson).
"The Cleveland Show" will be the first voice-over job for West, who's also been developing a series for Comedy Central.
Henry Rollins, author, actor, spoken-word artist, TV host and former Black Flag and Rollins Band singer will join the FX series "Sons of Anarchy" next season. He's set to appear in six episodes as "a new antagonist" to the Sons of Anarchy motorcycle club headed by Charlie Hunnam's character.
The cable channel promises he will be a "deadly threat" to the club, which means that we won't see Rollins relegated to the roles he usually plays, like troglodyte cops or rough-neck assholes that get shot within a minute and a half. This is thrilling news as far as I'm concerned - Hank's a perfect fit for the show, and he should bring some fire to the role.
Rollins hosts a talk show on IFC, with film credits that include Heat and Lost Highway.
