.jpg) By Johnny Firecloud | Talk show hosts Conan O'Brien, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert sure know how to kill time. Since returning to the air at the start of the year despite their writers continuing to ride the picket lines, all three hosts have been forced to come up with their own material and think outside the box. A daunting task, to say the least. |
The shit they're thinking up to eat up the clock each night is fantastic, but O'Brien gets honorable mention for creativity. On various nights I've seen him ride a zip line through the audience with rockets attached to his feet, grab a guitar and play old rockabilly music with the Max Weinberg 7, force guests to make their way through a giant cardboard maze before being interviewed, and so on. He's keeping it fresh, and softens the blow of the writers' absence with gusto. Monday's show was no exception, as viewers were treated to a cross-network battle royal between O'Brien, Stewart and Colbert.
It all started a couple weeks ago, when O'Brien took credit for the success of evangelical nutjob presidential candidate Mike Huckabee, since the former Arkansas governor appeared on his "Late Night" show. "Colbert Report" host Stephen Colbert, who for months had claimed responsibility for Huckabee's success via his "Colbert Bump," was furious. Unpleasantries and who-made-who syllogisms flew between the hosts throughout the week (O'Brien called Colbert the "temporary host" of "The Colbert Report", Colbert threatened to kick Conan's "translucent white ass"), and tensions were further agitated by Jon Stewart's arrival on Colbert's show and declaration that he, in fact, made Conan (using a clip of the Irishman on "The Jon Stewart Show" from 1994). Therefore, by his logic, "Stewart made Huckabee." I know, it's a bit confusing. Suffice to say, when the weekend arrived it seemed that the host war would fizzle out.
Tensions only grew, however, and on Monday Conan paid a visit to Stewart and Colbert on their own shows, challenging them both to a deathmatch. Milking the time-wastage for all it was worth, the "fight" didn't actually take place until Conan's show taped, where the Comedy Central duo stormed onto the set and initiated things with a West Side Story type dance intro. Soon bottles and bricks were being smashed over heads, guns, blowtorches, ice skates and nunchucks were employed, and all three hosts took turns throwing each other down a flight of stairs. The fight ended with a three-way Rocky-style knockout, frozen in time to resemble a LeRoy Neiman painting (another "Rocky" nod).
The image faded to black, and Huckabee appeared by satellite to have the last word. "Let's be clear: None of these guys made me. This great nation made me," said the man who stands no chance of ever being president. "So vote for me. God bless America and forget these three idiots."
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