VH1's Celebrity Rehab
Has train wreck TV gone too far?
Genius, right? Only not really.
There are a number of flaws in Celebrity Rehab’s design, not the least of which is the fact that Dr. Drew might be the biggest celeb on the show. The rest of the cast includes Brigitte Nielsen, pro wrestling’s Chyna, the singer from Crazy Town, Kenicke from Grease, a porn star, a girl who was briefly on Family Matters, and the least famous of the Baldwin brothers.
Oh, and MMA fighter Ricco Rodriguez is also coming to the party late, hopefully with an explanation of why he tried to auction off his UFC heavyweight championship belt on Ebay (my money’s on cocaine).
In other words, when talking about this show with your friends you would likely put air quotes around the word “celebrity” the same way you do when talking about your cousin who is working as a “dancer” to put herself through “college”.
It begs the question: where does entertainment end and exploitation begin? Watching Celebrity Rehab is strangely compelling – the way watching people struggle with addiction often is – but it has little to do with the fact that these people are (according to a very broad definition of the word) famous. It’s more like a watered-down version of A&E’s Intervention.
The fact that this show features celebrities really only encourages us to revel in their pain and feel better about seeing their broken lives on display. To a degree, that’s understandable. Celebrities in our society make a deal with the devil. They receive money, undue adulation, a false sense of accomplishment, but in exchange they give up certain things, like their privacy.
The drug and alcohol-addicted celebrities on this show, however, are really just messed up people who may or may not be using their “recovery” as a way of revitalizing their careers. It’s like everyone is using everyone else in this sordid game. Maybe that’s why I feel a little dirty after watching it.
For example, look at cast member Daniel Baldwin. What’s he famous for, aside from being a Baldwin? Well, he was on the underrated Homicide: Life on the Street in the mid-nineties. After that…not much. One of his most recent projects was, believe it or not, Celebrity Fit Club.
See where I’m going with this? It’s the same with Brigitte Nielsen, who went from being a real actress (Beverly Hills Cop II, anyone?) to being a reality show actress (Surreal Life, Flavor of Love, Celebrity Big Brother, etc.).
It’s as if reality TV has become a new genre of acting, and Celebrity Rehab encourages the worst of it because it combines the faux-realism of reality TV with the very serious problem of drug addiction.
Ask yourself this: if these people really wanted to get sober, why didn’t they check themselves into a normal treatment facility? Why did they sign up to get clean on camera while pouring out their heart to Chyna in group therapy sessions? Answer: because they wanted to be on TV.
This is how Celebrity Rehab makes it impossible to take it as seriously as we should. On one hand, I want these people to stop destroying themselves, though not more than I want anyone else to do the same. On the other hand, there’s the dude from Crazy Town. You hear what I’m saying? Crazy Town!
It’s not that Celebrity Rehab is any worse than any of the other exploitative reality shows. It’s just that it’s a little bit sadder. I can’t tell if the producers are preying on celebrities in a weakened state, or if the celebs are trying to cash in on their own crippling addictions. Will we eventually get to a point where people develop heroin addictions just to revive their careers?
Maybe so. And maybe there’s nothing we can do to stop it. It’s just Hollywood at work, cannibalizing its own parts for sustenance. Enjoy the ride. And somebody reserve a bed for Mariah Carey. Shouldn’t be long now.
