The writing was spot-on in this week's episode of "The Office," pitting Dwight against Pam in a showdown that's been long-building but couldn't have properly unfolded until she achieved a certain status in the office... even if the "status" equals a completely fabricated administrative position within the company.
Dwight now owns the building, you see, and he's been increasingly cutting corners to save money. From watering down the soap and cutting the tampons in half to stripping the paper down to half-ply (what does that even mean?), he's openly waging war against the tenants - in this case, his co-workers - in an attempt to squeeze every last penny out of them.
Pam's solution, as office administrator, is to up the ante by scouting out new locations for the staff to set up office. She brings in pics and riles up the crew for the promise of a new beginning, except there's just one problem - the place doesn't actually exist. She pulled the pictures off the internet, and soon Dwight comes to find out, calling her bluff and appearing to dominate the standoff.
Meanwhile, Michael's paranoia over China's perceived world takeover leads to a strange upheaval of mental measurement. Oscar is dismantled in his rebuttal of Michael's points about China's population, launching the boss' ego into the stratosphere and causing the formerly smartest man in the office to have a bit of a psychological breakdown. He schemes to better Michael in a one-on-one conversation, and succeeds in beating his points... until Michael pulls a Sarah Palin and starts talking about American choice being the victory in the debate. Rhetorical nonsense, but the onlooker staff gave him a round of applause, and the debate ended. Bizarre. All too familiar.
By the way, to master the full use of all four limbs, according to Mr. Schrute all you need to do is spend 20 minutes a day using all feet, no hands. That's Dwight's new way to dominate the human race - except attempting to drink coffee is maybe not the best idea, as he comes to discover (thanks to Jim, of course)
We also learn that Erin believes the staff is plotting to kill her to cash in on an imaginary insurance policy. During a brainstorming session in the office, she proposes the following as a way to gauge their murder interest:
Erin: "What if we all get together and help each other and hire a new guy, and then we all kill him, but first we take out like a hundred thousand dollar life insurance policy? I bet you guys like that idea, don't you?"
Michael: (awkward pause) "I don't know what the f*ck that was."
Though Dwight discovers that Pam's bluffing, he sees her desperation not to be a triple failure (She went to art school but isn't an artist, tried her hand at sales and failed) and creates an out for her, showing a rare hint of compassion that he rushes to assert is anything but compassion, but all part of a larger, more sinister scheme.
The episode was a departure from the leaps of character development we'd seen this season, with even the usually heavy-handed subplot being a mere sampling rather than an immersed storyline (though the text messages between Andy and Darryl were pretty funny, we'll give it that). At any rate, next week's hour-long Christmas episode should be a Holly-riffic fest. If it's not, what the hell are these guys waiting for?!
Now we present the best Office quotes from the week:
Michael on China: "Imagine a world where forks are irrelevant, and every man, woman and child is expected to play the cello."
Dwight: We have a colleague with the same name. You're not a liar too, are you?
Other Pam: Well, I've been known to bend the truth.
Dwight: Damn it Pam! Get out!
Pam: You've been watering down the soap?
Dwight: Why do you even need soap? Are you that bad at going to the bathroom?
Pam: So everyone here knows pirate code?
Creed: I understand it, I can't speak it.
Pam: Does anyone want to know where I've been for the past two hours?
Jim: Oh my God. I've been play zombie soccer for the past two hours?
"Don't get me stated on how coddled the modern anus is." - Take a guess who that one's from.
