Episode Title: 'Hao Kanaka'
Writer: Sarah Goldfinger
Director: Elodie Keene
Story:
An armored car is stolen and three security guards shot by a team of thieves posing as painters, in an attempt to blend in with a crew gathered in a neighboring park. Kono (Grace Park) discovers that the bags of money were tagged with tracking devices, which leads 5-0 to a dock. After taking an impromptu dive, she and McGarrett (Alex O’Loughlin) find the van submerged below. Dano (Scott Caan) and McGarrett make a trip to the hospital to talk to the surviving security guard, Jordan Townsend (Colin Egglesfield). Unfortunately, Townsend is still in a coma but his pregnant wife Camille (Bijou Phillips) promises to contact 5-0 when he awakens.
Surveillance footage from the scene of the shooting leads McGarrett and Dano to parolee, Gordan Smith (Nas). He claims to have only answered an ad on Gavin’s list (guess there’s no Craig in Hawaii) looking for painters. A call from Townsend’s wife brings the boys back to the hospital but a member of the heist team, tipped off by the press, beats them to it. Posing as a doctor, he attempts to take out Townsend but with McGarrett and Dano on the scene, he manages to make an unbelievable escape through an elevator shaft. After tracing the number provided by Smith, the team finds evidence of doping at an empty chiropractors office, explaining the inhuman elevator escape at the hospital.
A tip from a local doper leads McGarrett and Dano to a rental house next to Dano’s ex-wife, Rachel (Claire van der Boom). She begrudgingly agrees to let them set up surveillance on the house, while trading barbs with Dano. When the thieves leave the house, Dano breaks in and retrieves a thumb drive but other members of the heist team return while he’s still inside. Rachel creates a diversion by driving her Mercedes into their front gate but moments later they’re on the run again, literally, en route to the triathlon.
It looks like the team is closing in on the crooks, now that they’ve got access to the tracking chips they were assigned for the race. But a last minute switch by the thieves sends 5-0 after the wrong racers. However, Dano, using his daughter’s pink Hello Kitty laptop, finds video from a diamond trading conglomerate, leading the team to the thieves’ next target. They catch up with the crooks just as they split off on their bikes, with each member of 5-0 taking one down. McGarrett and Dano bring the news to a thankful Jordan Townsend and wife, before heading off for their customary celebratory beer.
Breakdown:
“Hao Kanaka,” which means “Iron Man,” was one of the most solid hours of “Hawaii Five-0” yet. It was all there! Dano cracked wise with McGarrett, his ex-wife Rachel and even Nas! McGarrett pulled a MacGyver, turning the innards of a dirty vacuum bag into a makeshift print kit and kicked some serious ass on the beach. Kono even showed a little skin!
While the idea of a heist team who happen to be super-human triathletes, thanks to doping, is a bit far fetched, the fun of watching the chase play out made the stretch forgivable. And the fact that Dano’s feisty Brit wife happens to live next door to the house rented by the thieves was also a reach but one that allowed us to finally meet the woman who let Dano get away! And I thought watching him bicker with McGarrett was fun. Here’s hoping we get to see more of the former Mrs. Williams. It seems likely, with some obvious lingering feelings shared between the two.
On the down side, the cellphone product placement on this show has become so distractingly conspicuous, I’d rather they just break the fourth wall and tell me to by an LG Optimus 7. Granted, watching Dano fumble with sending email and texting was amusing; we saw so much of the damn phone it should have been credited as a guest star. I was seriously disappointed to see the phone get more screen time than Nas.
The silly factor, once primarily reserved for Scott Caan, continues to creep into the rest of the series and I love it. How many different ways can you knock a diamond thief off a ten-speed? How about four? Chin Ho makes a clothesline out of a hose, Dano opts for a water cooler roadblock, Kono pulls a gun and McGarrett goes for the flying bodypress and follows it up with a little Krav Maga.
Ridiculous? Yes.
More please!
Crave Online Rating: 8.5 out of 10.
